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Band 5

Doctors recommend that older people should excersice regularly.However many of them do not exercise enough. What are the causes? What can be done to encourage them to exercise?

#doctors #people #excersice #exercise
Despite the fact that doing
exercise
 is the most effective way which doctors suggest older
people
to
Remove the particle
apply
show examples
do, there are many of older
people
 ignore with
this
 recommendation.
This
 essay will examine the reasons which cause
this
 issue and
also
 provide several solutions to convince older
people
 to do
exercise
. There are numerous reasons why most older
people
 ignore doing
exercise
.
First
 of all, they believe that
exercise
 is a boring
activities
Change the noun form
activity
show examples
.
Although
 doctors suggest them to do
exercise
, they have a limited type of
activities
 which they can do
such
 as running and
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
 yoga.
This
 can lead to reducing
inspiration
Correct article usage
the inspiration
show examples
 of older
people
 to involve with any
exercise
. Another reason, older
people
 do not have many friends to enjoy with them which cause
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
make them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
lose motivation to do
exercise
. All in all, it can be seen that those reasons cause them
do
Add the particle
to do
show examples
 not
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
exercise
 enough. To tackle
this
 problem, there are numerous solutions
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 can help older
people
 to participate in any
exercise
activities
.
Firstly
, the doctors should suggest more interesting
exercise
activities
 which they can play as a team.
As a result
, older
people
 can enjoy playing with other members
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their family. Another point which should be taken into consideration is the fact that if we could find more
people
 to enjoy with older
people
 can result in encouraging older
people
 to involve with
exercise
activities
. All things considered, the number of older
people
 doing
exercise
 could be increased in the future which could
helped
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 older
people
 have good health in the long term. In conclusion, the biggest reason os
this
 issue is older lose motivation to do.
However
, If they had many
people
 to enjoy with them , they could be more
participate
Replace the word
participants
show examples
 in each activity which can lead to increasing older
people
 enjoy exercising.
Submitted by ssrikuakoon on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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