In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In numerous nations globally, rural inhabitants are relocating to urban, resulting in a decline in the
countryside
population. While
some people
claim it has helpful negative effects on society, this
essay believes that moving to cities leads to the development of economics. I agree to
Change preposition
with
positive
effects.
Regarding Correct article usage
the positive
this
topic, there are a number of positive effects due to
the development of economy
and the receiving of high-quality Correct article usage
the economy
education
and medical systems. First,
people
can develop their wealth and economic situations
. Fix the agreement mistake
situation
For example
, the city
has many jobs and economic activities. Therefore
, people
can do economic activities rather than the countryside
. such
as the service and retail industry. They can start new businesses bigger than rural ones. Second,
people
can receive high-quality educationand
, Correct your spelling
education and
education
Change preposition
in medicala
medicala
medical system. Correct your spelling
medical
For example
. when children learn better about the level of education
, city
education
can offer high
level of Add an article
a high
education
. If the elderly person needs surgery, they can easily seek medical treatment in the city
. moreover
, these services offer convenience to people
in the living. therefore
, people
tend to live in the city
rather than the countryside
.
However
, when thinking of this
reason, the topic shows a more significant effect. If we think of straining urban infrastructure and erosion of rural culture and traditions. People
would show stronger support for this
action. People
moved to the city
more and more. However
, these moving lead to issues such
as traffic congestion, lack of housing spaces and inflation. For example
, if one city
has space only for 100 people
, excessive migration offers
inconvenience to living Verb problem
causes
people
. Moreover
, the more people
a city
has, the more traffic congestion the city
will face. Next,
when most rural people
move to the city
, people
who know the countryside
culture will disappear more and more. And then
, rural heritage will be gone in the historical. So, we should save these cultures and heritage for future generations.
When considering all of these points in mind. In conclusion, discussing these points. In my opinion, moving is good for economic development. however
, we need to protect and think about rural culture and traditions for our sons and daughters.Submitted by rjsdn2233 on
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Thesis clarity
Your essay effectively addresses the topic and provides a balanced view of the positives and negatives of rural to urban migration. To enhance clarity, consider refining your thesis statement and more precisely outlining the essay’s structure in the introduction.
Grammar & Spelling
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes as they can distract from your argument (e.g., 'educationand,' 'medicala'). Regular proofreading can help minimize these.
Sentence Variety
Your essay would benefit from more varied sentence structures for a stronger impact. Experimenting with complex and compound sentences can make your writing more engaging.
Supporting Examples
Consider adding more concrete examples to support your arguments. Specific instances or statistics can significantly strengthen your case and make your points more convincing.
Balanced View
You effectively address the bright side and the challenges of rural to urban migration, demonstrating a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
Structure
Your essay has a logical structure, with clear paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion, which aids the reader's comprehension.
Argument Depth
You have provided relevant arguments supporting both the economic benefits and the potential downsides (cultural erosion, infrastructure strain) of migration, which enhances the essay’s depth.