IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In numerous nations globally, rural inhabitants are relocating to urban, resulting in a decline in the
countryside
Use synonyms
 population.
While
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 claim it has helpful negative effects on society,
this
Linking Words
 essay believes that moving to cities leads to the development of economics. I agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 effects. Regarding
this
Linking Words
 topic, there are a number of positive effects
due to
Linking Words
 the development of
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 and the receiving of high-quality
education
Use synonyms
 and medical systems.
First,
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 can develop their wealth and economic
situations
Fix the agreement mistake
situation
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, the
city
Use synonyms
 has many jobs and economic activities.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can do economic activities rather than the
countryside
Use synonyms
.
such
Linking Words
 as the service and retail industry. They can start new businesses bigger than rural ones.
Second,
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 can receive high-quality
educationand
Correct your spelling
education and
education
,
Change preposition
in medicala
show examples
medicala
Correct your spelling
medical
 medical system.
For example
Linking Words
. when children learn better about the level of
education
Use synonyms
,
city
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 can offer
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
 level of
education
Use synonyms
. If the elderly person needs surgery, they can easily seek medical treatment in the
city
Use synonyms
.
moreover
Linking Words
, these services offer convenience to
people
Use synonyms
 in the living.
therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to live in the
city
Use synonyms
 rather than the
countryside
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, when thinking of
this
Linking Words
 reason, the topic shows a more significant effect. If we think of straining urban infrastructure and erosion of rural culture and traditions.
People
Use synonyms
 would show stronger support for
this
Linking Words
 action.
People
Use synonyms
 moved to the
city
Use synonyms
 more and more.
However
Linking Words
, these moving lead to issues
such
Linking Words
 as traffic congestion, lack of housing spaces and inflation.
For example
Linking Words
, if one
city
Use synonyms
 has space only for 100
people
Use synonyms
, excessive migration
offers
Verb problem
causes
show examples
 inconvenience to living
people
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the more
people
Use synonyms
 a
city
Use synonyms
 has, the more traffic congestion the
city
Use synonyms
 will face.
Next,
Linking Words
when most rural
people
Use synonyms
 move to the
city
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 who know the
countryside
Use synonyms
 culture will disappear more and more. And
then
Linking Words
, rural heritage will be gone in the historical. So, we should save these cultures and heritage for future generations. When considering all of these points in mind. In conclusion, discussing these points. In my opinion, moving is good for economic development.
however
Linking Words
, we need to protect and think about rural culture and traditions for our sons and daughters.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Thesis clarity
Your essay effectively addresses the topic and provides a balanced view of the positives and negatives of rural to urban migration. To enhance clarity, consider refining your thesis statement and more precisely outlining the essay’s structure in the introduction.
Grammar & Spelling
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes as they can distract from your argument (e.g., 'educationand,' 'medicala'). Regular proofreading can help minimize these.
Sentence Variety
Your essay would benefit from more varied sentence structures for a stronger impact. Experimenting with complex and compound sentences can make your writing more engaging.
Supporting Examples
Consider adding more concrete examples to support your arguments. Specific instances or statistics can significantly strengthen your case and make your points more convincing.
Balanced View
You effectively address the bright side and the challenges of rural to urban migration, demonstrating a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
Structure
Your essay has a logical structure, with clear paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion, which aids the reader's comprehension.
Argument Depth
You have provided relevant arguments supporting both the economic benefits and the potential downsides (cultural erosion, infrastructure strain) of migration, which enhances the essay’s depth.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
What to do next:
Look at other essays: