Some people prefer to help or support directly in the local community for people who need it; however, others prefer to give money to the national or private charities. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

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It is sometimes controversial

in deciding

Change preposition

to decide

show examples

whether

donate

Fix the infinitive

to donate

show examples

money

Use synonyms

to local or national

authorities

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

charities

Use synonyms

. In my humble opinion,

although

Linking Words

these two approaches both have negativities and drawbacks, donating to charity organizations may seem more reliable.

To begin

Linking Words

with, some individuals prefer to provide support or

fund

Fix the agreement mistake

funds

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to the local community

Linking Words

due to

Change preposition

for

show examples

several reasons.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the process may be much easier than donating

money

Use synonyms

charities

Use synonyms

. For those living in rural or countryside, it is not convenient for them to make donations to certified organizations

where

Correct word choice

that

show examples

are far away.

secondly

Linking Words

, some people do not feel safe sending

money

Use synonyms

charities

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

a trust crisis,

for instance

Linking Words

, there has been news

regard

Change the form of the verb

regarding

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the corruption inside charity organizations of using the funds.

Therefore

Linking Words

, on account of negative information, individuals who would have donated

money

Use synonyms

to these

authorities

Use synonyms

changed their minds. Despite the fact that there is a misuse of aid funds in some private

charities

Use synonyms

, it is not always the case.

For example

Linking Words

, in my country, the majority of foundations are run by national

charities

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. On the one hand, they are strictly

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

supervised by

authorities

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and the public. With the endorsement and supervision from the government, citizens should be less worried about fund security, it is considered even safer than donating to locals.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, in general, local communities

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

lack experience in utilizing vast amounts of funds to cope with local issues

such

Linking Words

as poverty and the disabled population. In comparison, certified

charities

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could tackle issues more efficiently.

To sum up

Linking Words

, whether to make a contribution to local communities or

authorities

Use synonyms

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

depends on personal preference.

However

Linking Words

, I think that donating to

government certificated

Correct your spelling

government-certified

show examples

institutions is considered a more efficient and safer way.

jasonzeroshiTue Dec 07 2021

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task achievement

The introduction provides a clear stance but could be more engaging and fully outline the points to be discussed. Consider rephrasing for clarity and adding a brief overview of both sides before stating your opinion.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure clarity in transitioning between points to maintain flow. Adding linking phrases can help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly, especially between paragraphs.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples or statistics to support your arguments in both views. For instance, referencing specific charities or local initiatives could strengthen your position.

coherence and cohesion

The conclusion summarizes the discussion but slightly lacks depth. Reinforce your opinion with a brief summary of key points to strengthen your final statement.

task achievement

You express a clear opinion on the topic, which gives direction to the essay. Each view is discussed in a structured manner, which is a good approach to address the prompt.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

philanthropy
grassroots
non-governmental organizations (NGOs)
altruism
donation
volunteer
sponsor
beneficiary
transparency
accountability
advocacy
impact
scalability
community development
fundraising
non-profit sector
humanitarian aid
social responsibility

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Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much. Do you agree or disagree? What other types of job should be highly paid?

Some people prefer to be self-employed, whereas others like working for companies or institutions. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both approaches. Which do you think is a better approach?