Some people believe that children should be given lessons on how to manage money in the school. do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #lessons #money #school

Nowadays, it is undeniable that finance is an important aspect for everyone.

Therefore

, there is an argument whether schools should include classes related to finance or not. Both points of view will be discussed and examined in

this

essay. First of all, learning to manage money in school is an essential foundation for successful adulthood. When children are old enough to work,

likewise

, they need to budget their expenses carefully.

For instance

, a transition to adulthood would be tough as they suddenly have to work, pay for bills, groceries

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

etc. Without prior training,

this

change may be overwhelming for them in the beginning.

As a result

, if they are taught these skills in school, they

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

be ready and well-prepared.

On the other hand

, juveniles already have various subjects to study,

likewise

, adding more classes could potentially put a burden on them. For illustration, currently, most of them study many things at once with tests after tests. Sometimes, they may even study for up to 12 hours a day to prepare for

university's

Change noun form

university

show examples

admission exams. It likely causes unnecessary stress, limited free time

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

etc. In conclusion, both perspectives have their own benefits and drawbacks.

However

this

essay supports the idea of including money management-related subjects as the benefits outweigh the side effects.

Submitted by petchlada.yaovapak on Tue Dec 07 2021

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task response

Your essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both perspectives on including money management classes in schools. Make sure to thoroughly explain your own stance in the conclusion to further strengthen your response.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a clear and coherent structure with a well-organized introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Your ideas flow logically from one to the next, enhancing the overall coherence of your writing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

214 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial literacy
budgeting
savings and investment
financial responsibility
school curriculum
mathematics integration
social studies
debt prevention
credit score
wise financial decisions
parental responsibility
structured education
real-world experiences
internships
personal finance

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Some people believe that children should be given lessons on how to manage money in the school. do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of preschool age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their kids.

Studying art in school improves students' performance in other subjects, because it is easier for multi-skilled students to learn new things. That's why art should be obligatory in schools. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skill. Do you agree or disagree?

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweight its drawbacks?