IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Task 2: People think that children nowadays have more freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #freedom
It is widely believed that
children
 these days have too much freedom than before. From my perspective,
although
 most people would think it is unreasonable, I partly agree with the given statement. In
this
 essay, I will present the reasons for my personal views. On the one hand, I believe that parents let their
children
 do their own things
such
 as study or subjects to which they are attracted to. They have their parents behind to support and encourage them to find out the abilities that are sleeping inside their brains.
This
 will help them to know themselves much better in order to be successful and rich in the future.
Furthermore
, kids can
also
 have their free time doing what they love like playing games or hanging out with their friends.
On the other hand
, in today’s world, the knowledge that
children
 have to receive is too much. In the world of urbanization, where everything is changing every day, the skills that youngsters need to adapt are limitless. The results are the fact that the kids are becoming more and more depressed and stressed, leading to problems with their health. Another factor is crime rates, as there are more thieves on the road. In conclusion, even though
this
 topic is controversial, I still think that
children
 still have more free time to enjoy than in the old days.
Submitted by quanghuy.nguyen2098 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: