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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think personal happiness is directly related to economic success, while others believe this depends on other factors. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #happiness #success #factors
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It is believed that individual
happiness
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 is connected to financial success, while others argue that
happiness
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 depends on several factors. From my perspective, both economic success, quality age with family, and good energy conditions are equally important to determine
happiness
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.
Firstly
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 and for more, achieving financial stability can afford premium living standards which can make
crowd
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the crowd
a crowd
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 feel comfortable and blissful.
Wealthy
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The wealthy
A wealthy
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community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
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 can drive fancy cars, live in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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nice
house
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houses
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, eat expensive food and so on. For some
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community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
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, the definition of a comfortable and enjoyable lifestyle is proportional to the degree of their asset. Due to that, being wealthier is the engine behind
of
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apply
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many public’s hard-working.
However
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, the
happiness
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 from purchasing luxuries cannot be sustainable, family need to
mindful
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be mindful
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 equally about their wealth, their family bonds and their fitness.
To begin
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 with,
quality
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a quality
the quality
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 day with family is always an irreplaceable moment in a person’s life, spending era doing favourite things with population whom you grow up with can make
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community
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the community
a community
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 feel pleasure. Without a family bond, it would be a void that cannot fill with physical possession.
Moreover
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, energy conditions
also
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plays
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play
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 play an essential role to determine
happiness
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. No one can be happy when they have serious
ill
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illness
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 with
short
Correct article usage
a short
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 lifetime future and have to lay in sickbed all day.
Thus
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,
besides
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 economic success,
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community
Add an article
the community
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also
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 need
a family bonds
Correct the article-noun agreement
family bonds
a family bond
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 and good fitness to be happy. In conclusion, financial achievement can but it is not the only thing that
decide
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decides
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happiness
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, many other values
such
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 as relationships and well-being are
also
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 contributing
a
Change preposition
to a
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certain degree of pleasure, so that, crowd need to balance all of these factors to be happy sustainably.
Submitted by juliethaonguyen1993 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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