Some people think personal happiness is directly related to economic success, while others believe this depends on other factors. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

It is believed that individual

happiness

is connected to financial success, while others argue that

happiness

depends on several factors. From my perspective, both economic success, quality age with family, and good energy conditions are equally important to determine

happiness

Firstly

and for more, achieving financial stability can afford premium living standards which can make

crowd

Add an article

the crowd

a crowd

show examples

feel comfortable and blissful.

Wealthy

Add an article

The wealthy

A wealthy

show examples

community

Fix the agreement mistake

communities

show examples

can drive fancy cars, live in

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

nice

house

Fix the agreement mistake

houses

show examples

, eat expensive food and so on. For some

community

Fix the agreement mistake

communities

show examples

, the definition of a comfortable and enjoyable lifestyle is proportional to the degree of their asset. Due to that, being wealthier is the engine behind

Change preposition

apply

show examples

many public’s hard-working.

However

, the

happiness

from purchasing luxuries cannot be sustainable, family need to

mindful

Add a missing verb

be mindful

show examples

equally about their wealth, their family bonds and their fitness.

To begin

with,

quality

Add an article

a quality

the quality

show examples

day with family is always an irreplaceable moment in a person’s life, spending era doing favourite things with population whom you grow up with can make

community

Add an article

the community

a community

show examples

feel pleasure. Without a family bond, it would be a void that cannot fill with physical possession.

Moreover

, energy conditions

also

plays

Change the verb form

play

show examples

play an essential role to determine

happiness

. No one can be happy when they have serious

ill

Replace the word

illness

show examples

with

short

Correct article usage

a short

show examples

lifetime future and have to lay in sickbed all day.

Thus

besides

economic success,

community

Add an article

the community

show examples

also

need

a family bonds

Correct the article-noun agreement

family bonds

a family bond

show examples

and good fitness to be happy. In conclusion, financial achievement can but it is not the only thing that

decide

Change the verb form

decides

show examples

happiness

, many other values

such

as relationships and well-being are

also

contributing

Change preposition

to a

show examples

certain degree of pleasure, so that, crowd need to balance all of these factors to be happy sustainably.

Submitted by juliethaonguyen1993 on Tue Dec 07 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think personal happiness is directly related to economic success, while others believe this depends on other factors. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people believe that using a bicycle as your main form of transport has a lot of advantages whereas others think that it has many disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, many old cities are rebuild and redesigned( with older buildings knocked down) in order to look modern. Discuss both advantages and disadvantages of this practice?

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?

Governments give lots of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinions.