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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#governments #progress #people #country
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It is considered that the most significant purpose for authorities is progressing
economy
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. While others argue that there are other
factors
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should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
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 be paid attention to similar
as
Change preposition
to
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 others. In my view, for developing the
economy
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 of
countries
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 all types of
factors
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 should be regarded
such
Linking Words
 as medical care services and educational
system
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.
To begin
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 with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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economic development is an essential key to creating many careers for
people
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. When some
countries
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 are richer than others, they do not have a concern about
financial
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the financial
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system
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. My point is, they
never
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are never
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affect
Wrong verb form
affected
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 by increasing inflation or fluctuation of currency.
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Consequently
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,Consequently
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 they establish some novel jobs, boost trading with other
countries
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 and make
profit
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a profit
show examples
.
For example
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, the United Kingdom has a powerful
economy
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in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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worldwide, because it utilizes many experts in
this
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 field, eliminates
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inflation and develops its bond to other
countries
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. On the other side, other
people
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 believe that improving other subjects are necessary
as
Change preposition
for
show examples
Use synonyms
economy
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the economy
an economy
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. In my view,
Medicare
Correct article usage
the Medicare
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 care
system
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 is one of the vital elements for any
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countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
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. When
country
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a country
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 becomes
enrich
Wrong verb form
enriched
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 in treatment all
people
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 around the world come to
this
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 place for curing.
For instance
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, during
this
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coronavirus
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,coronavirus
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 all
countries
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 combat each other to
creating
Wrong verb form
create
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 vaccine and they wanted to become well-known in the world that the US was the
first
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 country who discovered it.
Educational
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The educational
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system
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 is the
second
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 important
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factors
Fix the agreement mistake
factor
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 that can upbringing pupils and in the
future
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,future
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 they will become potential
people
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 for society and assist
government
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the government
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 for having
effective
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an effective
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economy
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.
For example
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, some
countries
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 have impressive systems for education or
having
Wrong verb form
have
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 prestigious universities that other
student
Change the wording
students
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 from other nations apply for them.
Thus
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, for
developing
Correct article usage
the developing
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economy
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 of a country all
factors
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 should be considered. In conclusion,
although
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, progressing the
economy
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 of
countries
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 is a significant issue, in my view, other
factors
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 namely medical care and educational
system
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 are important too and we should consider all
factors
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 equally.
Submitted by shahimari73 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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