Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

It is considered that the most significant purpose for authorities is progressing
economy
. While others argue that there are other
factors
should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
show examples
be paid attention to similar
as
Change preposition
to
show examples
others. In my view, for developing the
economy
of
countries
all types of
factors
should be regarded
such
as medical care services and educational
system
.
To begin
with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic development is an essential key to creating many careers for
people
. When some
countries
are richer than others, they do not have a concern about
financial
Add an article
the financial
show examples
system
. My point is, they
never
Add a missing verb
are never
show examples
affect
Wrong verb form
affected
show examples
by increasing inflation or fluctuation of currency.
Consequently
Add a comma
,Consequently
show examples
they establish some novel jobs, boost trading with other
countries
and make
profit
Add an article
a profit
show examples
.
For example
, the United Kingdom has a powerful
economy
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
worldwide, because it utilizes many experts in
this
field, eliminates
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inflation and develops its bond to other
countries
. On the other side, other
people
believe that improving other subjects are necessary
as
Change preposition
for
show examples
economy
Add an article
the economy
an economy
show examples
. In my view,
Medicare
Correct article usage
the Medicare
show examples
care
system
is one of the vital elements for any
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
. When
country
Add an article
a country
show examples
becomes
enrich
Wrong verb form
enriched
show examples
in treatment all
people
around the world come to
this
place for curing.
For instance
, during
this
coronavirus
Add a comma
,coronavirus
show examples
all
countries
combat each other to
creating
Wrong verb form
create
show examples
vaccine and they wanted to become well-known in the world that the US was the
first
country who discovered it.
Educational
Add an article
The educational
show examples
system
is the
second
important
factors
Fix the agreement mistake
factor
show examples
that can upbringing pupils and in the
future
Add a comma
,future
show examples
they will become potential
people
for society and assist
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
for having
effective
Add an article
an effective
show examples
economy
.
For example
, some
countries
have impressive systems for education or
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
prestigious universities that other
student
Change the wording
students
show examples
from other nations apply for them.
Thus
, for
developing
Correct article usage
the developing
show examples
economy
of a country all
factors
should be considered. In conclusion,
although
, progressing the
economy
of
countries
is a significant issue, in my view, other
factors
namely medical care and educational
system
are important too and we should consider all
factors
equally.
Submitted by shahimari73 on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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