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Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can-should be done about it.

#countries #graduates #employment #factors #situation #can-should
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Unemployment is something with which every country struggle. The higher amount of population, immigrants or shortage of
job
fields
 brings about
this
 problematic situation. The governments play a vital role in alleviating adverse influences of unemployment. They should create a wide range of
job
 areas and distinguish between migrations and local humans.
First
 of all, a lot of
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 live under bad conditions since they can't be taken on any
job
 since their domains are not thought as an important area.
For instance
, in my
country
Add a comma
,country
show examples
 if one
graduates
Change to a singular noun
graduate
show examples
 from a university department
such
 as chemistry, physic or history they have to be a teacher in a school. If they not, their chance of working in their
fields
 will be so low. Due to the lack of investments in these sectors, students reckon that merely being a teacher can save their lives.
Therefore
,
initially
, they give up their interests and pick out another way to study. A
further
 reason why there are plenty of unemployees is
Replace the word
that
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because
Add the preposition
ofbecause
show examples
 the density of population.
At
Change preposition
On
show examples
this
topic
Add a comma
,topic
show examples
 local authorities are still key aspects, as well. Supposedly, there are 700 thousand
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
chemistry students and 400 thousand of them graduated from quality universities. When they search work
fields
 they can't see any vacancy since either place have already had their own staff or there is not
convenient
Add an article
the convenient
show examples
 amount of opportunity. More often than not,
such
 humans pick out brain migration and leave their environments. The more young generations work in other countries, the more their hometowns will be put in a dire state. To prevent these challenges, authorities should arrange their population proportions
such
 as by taking measures about birth control like once China did or should enable migrations distinct
fields
 by not involving them in local ones. In the light of the facts recounted above, intense people amounts in countries and the shortage of wide range
job
 areas people suffer from unemployment. To alleviate these drawbacks, governments have to control birth amounts and distinguish migrations so that they can priority local people.
Submitted by meliike.bekcii on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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