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Band 5.5

It is now possible for scientists and tourist to travel to remote natural environment, such as South Pole. What are advantage and disadvantage of this development?

#scientists #tourist #travel #environment #pole #advantage #development
As farming products increased, there is a lot of food and drink that can be tasted. But some of them have a negative
effect
 on people’s
health
. From my perspective, it should not be banned for selling any
foods
 or drinks that have been proved to harm people’s
health
. Any food could have a negative
effect
 on
health
 if people
overuse
Correct pronoun usage
itoveruse
show examples
. There are a massive of
foods
 that provide necessary nutrition for a human’s
health
, but those
foods
also
 contain a certain element
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 could be harmful.
For example
, coffee is a common drink in daily life. It provides energy and helps us to concentrate on work more easily. But overuse or abuse is much likely to cause a sleep problem at night.
Moreover
, the brain functions might be damaged
such
 as memory, recognition and so on. In
this
 case, our body will suffer from chronic diseases in terms of the negative circle, cardiovascular disease, heart disease and stomach flu.
However
, Those
foods
 which had already been proved to harm our
health
 might not be as negative as we think
such
 as alcohol and cigarette. The truth is that,
although
 alcohol has a negative
effect
 on
health
. It actually can help us to release the tone of stress from daily life.
Similarly
, cigarettes had
also
 been proven that it is able to help patients to less suffer from pain and help them get to recover in an approachable way. Overall, I disagree with those
foods
 and drinks are not allowed to sell in the shop due to its scientific evidence, because all the food have a chance to have a negative
effect
 on our
health
.
Submitted by kevinchiua on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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