IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Today, many people do not know their neighbours in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

#people #neighbours #cities
In
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 world,
people
 do not have time to communicate with each other.
This
 lack of social interaction alarms health
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
 among civilians and
therefore
, there is an urgent need for government to step up to bring the community together.
This
 essay examines my perspective of the problems caused and the necessary action to be taken. The restrained human and society meet-up can stir potential medical crisis. It is a historical belief that
people
 who open up their problems with family and friends are
less-likely
Correct your spelling
less likely
show examples
 to suffer from heart conditions.Well,
this
 proves to be true in
present
Add an article
the present
show examples
 life.Evidently,
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of
people
 reported
to have
Change the verb form
having
show examples
 coronary diseases have significantly increased in the current decade which is a direct impact of stress-induced hassle life in the era of uncertainty.
This
 situation
further
 urges immediate action from the governing bodies. Federal and local governments should allocate adequate funding for cultural events that can bring
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 together.So,the common public can use the open outlet to know their neighbours which can resultingly eliminate isolation and encourage solidarity which is the vital need for
mental
Add an article
the mental
show examples
 well-being of humans.
For instance
,any sort of cultural event organised by the council
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
drags
people
 from different parts of the multicultural society to the celebration.The communal living
thus
 embarked mitigates work-life balance in the fast-moving human world. In conclusion, though it is an undeniable fact that
people
 around have no time to stand and stare at their
next
-door family,there is extreme immediacy for follow-up actions by higher authorities,
otherwise
, the
lonely-life
Correct your spelling
lonely life
show examples
 of
mortal
Correct article usage
a mortal
show examples
 can adversely affect health and mind.
Submitted by geetha.avsp on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Community spirit
  • Isolation
  • Surveillance
  • Safety and security
  • Vulnerability
  • Support networks
  • Local gatherings
  • Foster
  • Social media platforms
  • Neighbourhood watch
  • Emergency situations
  • Natural disasters
  • Shared resources
  • Crime rates
What to do next:
Look at other essays: