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Some people think personal happiness is directly related to economic success, while others believe this depends on other factors. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #happiness #success #factors
It is believed that individual
happiness
 is connected to financial success, while others argue that
happiness
 depends on several factors. From my perspective, both economic success, quality
time
 with family, and good
health
 conditions are equally important to determine
happiness
.
Firstly
 and for more, achieving financial stability can afford premium living standards which can make
people
 feel comfortable and blissful. Wealthy
people
 can drive fancy cars, live in a nice house, eat expensive food and so on. For some
people
, the definition of a comfortable and enjoyable lifestyle is proportional to the degree of their asset. Due to that, being wealthier is the engine behind many
people
’s hard-working work.
However
, the
happiness
 from purchasing luxuries cannot be sustainable,
people
 need to be mindful equally about their wealth, their family bonds and their
health
.
To begin
 with, quality
time
 with family is always an irreplaceable moment in a person’s life, spending
time
 doing favourite things with
people
 whom you grow up with can make
people
 feel pleasure. Without a family bond, it would be a void that cannot fill with physical possession.
Moreover
,
health
 conditions
also
 play
also play
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
an essential role to determine
happiness
. No one can be happy when they have a serious illness with a short
lifetime
Replace the word
life
show examples
time
 and have to lay in
sickbed
Correct article usage
a sickbed
show examples
 all day.
Thus
,
besides
 economic success,
people
also
 need family bonds and good
health
 to be happy. In conclusion, financial achievement can but it is not the only thing that decides
happiness
, many other values
such
 as relationships and
health
 are
also
 contributing
also
 contribute to a certain degree of pleasure, so that,
people
 need to balance all of these factors to be happy sustainably.
Submitted by ndmimi16 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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