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Band 5

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#countries #phone #cellphone #apps #development
It’s true that
payment
 via mobile application is becoming less odd in many countries. I think
this
 phenomenon has more advantages.
Firstly
, as it becomes more conventional, it brings more convenience for
Correct your spelling
smartphone
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smart phone
Correct your spelling
smartphone
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users
.
In other words
, if you have a cellphone
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 can download apps with
payment
amenity
Fix the agreement mistake
amenities
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, you have far more options to buy stuff online. About a decade ago, when
this
 way of paying was new to
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
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, even if you found a bang-for-the-buck on the internet, you would not have been able to buy it but had to go physically to
offline
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the offline
an offline
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 shop to pick up the goods. Now, you merely press a few buttons and find the item at your doorstep. The
second
 proof that the more commonly it happens, the better for
users
 is that the application developers care about security, which has been the major concern for years
,
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apply
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 and
keep
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keeps
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 improving ways to prevent cyber
security related
Add a hyphen
security-related
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 fraud. It is true that
users
 who would use their mobile
phone
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phones
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 when shopping
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 exposed to cyber-attacks when the
payment
 method was
first
 addressed. Sadly, it is still going on, but no doubt it is not an easy task for hackers to infiltrate
Add an article
the system
a system
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system
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systems
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 and acquire
users
’ sensitive personal information as they have to confront a variety of verification methods. SMS verification is the most representative example of
this
 protection for
users
. Because of
above
Correct article usage
the above
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, despite
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
remaining concerns, it is far more advantageous for increasingly common mobile application
payment
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payments
show examples
is
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
 safe to take place.
Submitted by dhkim.89.1497 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • safety
  • security
  • time-saving
  • cashless transactions
  • dependence on technology
  • privacy concerns
  • accessibility issues
  • financial vulnerability
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