IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#universities #numbers #students
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Many people thought that the amount of girls' and boys'
Use synonyms
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 should be
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 in each subject.I totally agree and support
this
Linking Words
 statement. Nowadays many universities
accepting
Wrong verb form
accept
show examples
equal
Change the article
an equal
the equal
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of male and female students
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 all classes.Dividing them equally is the best proper method by looking at the others thoughts.If the same amount of
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
 will gather in a group,they can easily assimilate their knowledge together,simultaneously.
For example
Linking Words
,one of my
psychologists
Change to a genitive case
psychologist's
psychologists'
show examples
 friends claim that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 project will lead them to
being
Change the verb form
be
show examples
 mentally strong and aids to avoid
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
detrimental characters,
such
Linking Words
 as being selfish,ashamed and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most especially saves from being sedentary people, during their entire life.The same
number
Use synonyms
 of members which is studied in a class brings them many benefits and leads to
bright
Correct article usage
a bright
show examples
 future.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,there are so many layers between human beings.Looking at the
muslims
Change the capitalization
Muslims
show examples
 lifestyle,they restricted the
ideo
Correct your spelling
idea
 of studying together.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,if boys
Use synonyms
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 make up huge numbers than females,they may often bully
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each other and
this
Linking Words
 situation will baffle others from their
specialties
Change the spelling
specialities
show examples
. They can not focus on the subject,because of
noisy
Add an article
the noisy
a noisy
show examples
 sphere.
For instance
Linking Words
:In some
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
 the government protested that statement which we convey above.They
prefer
Add the particle
toprefer
show examples
 accept male teenagers than females at university. In conclusion,universities and high schools should accept
equal
Change the article
an equal
the equal
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of students in every subject.It will lead to
bright
Correct article usage
a bright
show examples
 future,and good manners
today's
Change preposition
in today's
show examples
 youth.
Submitted by Qcutruxa on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender diversity
  • fostering innovation
  • educational experience
  • enforcing gender quotas
  • merit and potential
  • individual achievements
  • natural differences
  • gender equality
  • reducing gender stereotypes
  • balanced workforce
  • traditionally male-dominated or female-dominated fields
  • fluctuating applicant numbers
  • compromise on quality
  • diversity aspects
What to do next:
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