New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

whether we like it or not, over the past few decades, modern
technologies
have transformed virtually all aspects of individuals' lives and youngsters' leisure
time
is no exception.
Although
this
has both merits and demerits, in a more personal view, the disadvantages are greater than the advantages. To commence with, enormous importance has been laid on how new
technologies
affect
children
's free
time
. A fundamental criterion would be that thanks to the Internet, a wide variety of activities are constantly available free of charge to youths from various animations to distinct VR games.
For instance
,
this
happened to my six-year-old niece who has a burning desire for Disney animations,
hence
she watched loads of these animations on YouTube without bothering her parents.
In other words
, modern
technologies
give a hand to
children
to enjoy their free
time
by doing their desired activity without disturbing others. There are,
however
, numerous downsides to the mentioned movement, First and foremost, a vast ratio of young
children
allocate their free
time
to playing online games rather than spending
time
with their parents and friends face-to-face,
thus
this
would have a detrimental effect on their communication skills.
For example
, a recent survey in my country suggested that nowadays a staggering amount of youths use their iPads in their free
time
instead
of learning new skills
such
as drawing with their loved ones.
Secondly
,
due to
recent
technologies
, countless amounts of uncensored content are displayed to younger ones watching them in their free
time
, which has resulted in a sharp rise in domestic violence,
as well as
committing to crime.
In other words
, digital
technologies
have a dangerous effect on
children
's characteristic traits.
To conclude
, undoubtedly, the pattern in which younger ones spend their leisure
time
remarkably changed
as a consequence
of new
technologies
.
Although
this
has positive and negative notes, in my opinion, given the causes above, everything can be recapitulated into the fact that the advantages are outnumbered by the disadvantages.
Submitted by maryam.niknamm on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present but could provide a clearer framework for the essay's argument, strengthening the overall position taken.
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task achievement
Task response is adequate but aim to explore the implications or contrasts between the advantages and disadvantages in more depth for a stronger analysis.

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