New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
whether we like it or not, over the past few decades, modern
technologies
have transformed virtually all aspects of individuals' lives and youngsters' leisure time
is no exception. Although
this
has both merits and demerits, in a more personal view, the disadvantages are greater than the advantages.
To commence with, enormous importance has been laid on how new technologies
affect children
's free time
. A fundamental criterion would be that thanks to the Internet, a wide variety of activities are constantly available free of charge to youths from various animations to distinct VR games. For instance
, this
happened to my six-year-old niece who has a burning desire for Disney animations, hence
she watched loads of these animations on YouTube without bothering her parents. In other words
, modern technologies
give a hand to children
to enjoy their free time
by doing their desired activity without disturbing others.
There are, however
, numerous downsides to the mentioned movement, First and foremost, a vast ratio of young children
allocate their free time
to playing online games rather than spending time
with their parents and friends face-to-face, thus
this
would have a detrimental effect on their communication skills. For example
, a recent survey in my country suggested that nowadays a staggering amount of youths use their iPads in their free time
instead
of learning new skills such
as drawing with their loved ones. Secondly
, due to
recent technologies
, countless amounts of uncensored content are displayed to younger ones watching them in their free time
, which has resulted in a sharp rise in domestic violence, as well as
committing to crime. In other words
, digital technologies
have a dangerous effect on children
's characteristic traits.
To conclude
, undoubtedly, the pattern in which younger ones spend their leisure time
remarkably changed as a consequence
of new technologies
. Although
this
has positive and negative notes, in my opinion, given the causes above, everything can be recapitulated into the fact that the advantages are outnumbered by the disadvantages.Submitted by maryam.niknamm on
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
The essay could benefit from varied sentence structures to demonstrate linguistic flexibility and complexity.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present but could provide a clearer framework for the essay's argument, strengthening the overall position taken.
task achievement
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task achievement
Adding more detailed examples can further support the main points and enhance the argument's strength and validity.
task achievement
Task response is adequate but aim to explore the implications or contrasts between the advantages and disadvantages in more depth for a stronger analysis.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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