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Writing Samples
Band 6

Children learn by observing the behavior of adults and copying it. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#children #behavior #adults
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It is a mainstream viewpoint that teenagers learn everything and move in the shape of their
parents
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' experiences and deals. To a certain extent, I do not admit that the most impact on
children
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 is made by their
parents
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 since they learn most
behavior
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behaviour
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 from society.
However
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, I believe that
adults
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' attitudes play a main role in figuring
children
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's psychologies. Nowadays,
parents
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 are surprised about their
children
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's conduct as an effect of video
games
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. Computer
games
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 draw youngsters' minds to commit crimes, gaining useless habits. When minors are addicted to playing virtual
games
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 about eating, the process of obesity can be started because of interest in different meals. While spending a lot of time on war
games
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 can be cause for new guilts which are committed an
offense
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offence
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 by people under 18. If
parents
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 try to avoid their
children
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 from technological devices, they can fall behind their peers whereas it may be a reason to start other psychological problems.
On the other hand
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, it is observed that there are numerous same manners between
adults
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 and kids.
Moreover
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, psychologists are concerned about mature people, who can be potential
parents
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, as growing
children
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 correctly.
For instance
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, scientists find out that it is the most necessary 7
years
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 period from 1 to 7
years
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 old for every individual's future. Youngsters form in these
years
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 mentally by achieving information from
adults
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' treatment which
also
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 influence their destiny. If it is opened deeply, it is witnessed that kids get the shape of
adults
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' tongue in following
years
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. After several
years
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 they speak in a similar dialect
as a result
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 of the efficacy of grown-ups. In conclusion, external impacts can affect the mindset of youngsters hardly ever, while the manner of the public includes
remarkable
Correct article usage
a remarkable
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 part of their mentalities.
Instead
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 of prohibiting kids from the virtual universe, evolving awareness about psychology may be a more beneficial way to grow
children
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 correctly.
Although
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 I agree with the idea of the topic in some aspects, I contemplate that
children
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 gain view about the world from
parents
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 mostly.
Submitted by rezvin.bagirli on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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