IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation #reason
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In the modern world, people spend most of their
time
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 in their jobs, due to which they get very less free
time
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 for other recreational activities.
Although
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 working late
hours
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 helps us to earn more, it adversely affects our health and social life. I believe that the drawbacks of working long
hours
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overweighs
Change the verb form
overweigh
show examples
 its advantages.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
further
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 justify my views on my opinion. On one hand,
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
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 of competition and job insecurity has forced many employees to
work
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 extra
hours
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 as
this
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 will help them to earn more income and increase their chances of promotion.
Moreover
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, money mindedness has
also
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 forced individuals to voluntarily
work
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 for prolonged
hours
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.
On the other hand
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,
Correct your spelling
over time
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overtime
Correct your spelling
over time
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 leads to health disorders. Since humans spend most of their
time
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 sitting in front of computers they are more prone to obesity and high blood sugar levels.
Also
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, not getting enough sleep will lead to stress, depression and other problems. Apart from
this
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, long
hours
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 of
work
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 makes people away from their social and family life.
For instance
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, they miss all family get-togethers and
unable
Add a missing verb
are unable
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 to spend quality
time
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 with their children due to which the bonding between them weakens. In conclusion,
high
Correct article usage
the high
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 cost of living and job insecurity lead many workers to
work
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 additional
hours
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.
However
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, in the long
run
Add a comma
,run
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this
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 will lead to health problems. they will not be able to spend
time
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 with their spouse and children and
this
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 will affect their family life.
Hence
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 in my opinion the disadvantages of
this
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 outweigh its advantages.
Submitted by shailjameel2410 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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