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Writing Samples
Band 4

Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#education #component #school #program
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Children
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 modern era have all the magnificent toys, food and many more other interesting things
thanin
Correct your spelling
than in
than
 the past. They are bound to have a craving
on
Change preposition
for
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 all
this
Linking Words
 stuff that they see.
In other
Linking Words
words
Add a comma
,words
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children
Use synonyms
 will be spending money on anything they want or find
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
interesting to them. Even some adults these days have some kind of craving
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the thing they find
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
amazing. If financial education starts at the very beginning of the
school
Use synonyms
 years,
this
Linking Words
 will help them to understand the value of money.
Children
Use synonyms
 should
also
Linking Words
 be taught to manage their expenses and ways to spend wisely. When a child is being taught
this
Linking Words
 in the
school
Use synonyms
 program, the child will be able to apply it when they are out to purchase or when they have left the
school
Use synonyms
. They will not be cheated when they are young and
this
Linking Words
 will not only benefit their families but
also
Linking Words
 the whole country where they live when they are older.
However
Linking Words
, there are some
children
Use synonyms
 that are capable of
handle
Change the verb form
handling
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the
Remove the article
apply
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their
Replace the word
they're
they are
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financial
Replace the word
finances
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 in a very positive way even before they learned it at
school
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
This
Change the determiner
This child
These children
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 would have learnt from their families or people around them. They manage money better, compared to the other
children
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 from wealthier families for whom spending is not a problem. My conclusion is,
children
Use synonyms
 regardless of their background should be taught financial education from
school
Use synonyms
 at the very beginning
then
Linking Words
 only parents guide them from home as well.
Submitted by ikramwirh483 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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