To achieve personal happiness, the relationships we have with other people (friends, colleagues, family) are more essential than every other thing. Issues like wealth and occupations take the second place. Do you agree or disagree ?

#happiness #relationships #people #friends #colleagues #wealth #occupations #second #place

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It is often believed that people can be happy if they are in a harmonious relationship with their family, acquaintances and co-workers and think that things like a job and

money

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are secondary to achieving happiness in

life

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. I completely disagree with

this

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opinion and think that settling in

life

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is more significant than maintaining good relationships to lead to happy moments.

First

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of all, I believe that getting the desired job and earning a good salary makes a person's

life

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content. When an individual works and earns wealth, they can buy anything needed.

For example

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, My sister is a doctor in the UK and makes a huge sum of

money

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. While she isn't only financially stable but

also

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health-wise because ,with the

money

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she earns, she goes to the gym, buys healthy products and these aids to a happy

life

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Therefore

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, employment and funds contribute significantly to happiness.

Secondly

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, the other family members, peers and teammates at work automatically get closer when in possession of good jobs and living a luxurious

life

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Hence

Linking Words

these factors are dependable on the riches and position one attains.

For instance

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, during poverty no one wants to get in close contact with poor people but if the same community becomes richer people would want them in their lives.

Thus

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, the advantage of having

money

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and work is highly essential for a content living. To conclude,

although

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relatives, pals and colleagues are necessary for

life

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, it is the prosperity and profession

that is

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primary for cheerfulness. I am convinced that relationships can be built easily when one owns riches.

Hence

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in order to spend happy

life

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, it is vital that the primary components are given high priority.

Submitted by mercurim on Fri Dec 10 2021

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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To achieve personal happiness, the relationships we have with other people (friends, colleagues, family) are more essential than every other thing. Issues like wealth and occupations take the second place. Do you agree or disagree ?

Many people believe that it is easier to have a healthy lifestyle in the countryside. Others believe that there are health benefits of living in cities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is a public park near where you live. You have heard that the local council wants to sell this park. Write a letter to a local newspaper. In your letter • Introduce yourself • Describe the importance of the park • Say what action you will take if the council continues with this plan

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.