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Band 6

in some countries, young people have become richer, healthier, and live longer, but they are less happy. what are the causes? what can be done to address this situation?

#countries #people #address #situation
As the
world
 goes by, many things have a difference from the
last
centuries
.
Last
centuries
 many old
people
 live with good wealth and young
people
 need to fight for themselves in order to be rich, healthy and live longer in their old age.
However
, in the present many young
people
 become billionaires but
this
 action has caused their happiness. The following paragraph will be discussing the causes and the solution to help
this
 situation,
therefore
 the conclusion has been reached. To address the causes of
this
 problem
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 comes from the trend of
this
world
.
Moreover
, if we look back to the
last
centuries
, we will find that the
people
 at young ages just follow the order from their adults but nowadays most of the
people
 want to live their life and many parents are forced them that they need to be the best even they are already the best in those things.
In addition
, from the
world
 situation that different from the
last
centuries
,
this
 modern
world
 tends to be a more productive
world
 which makes young
people
 feels they will be useless if they stop to do something and a consequence of
this
 make most of the young
people
 have a depressed or feels less happy. To tackle the problem, I believe that we should change the trend of
this
world
 from a productive
world
 to be something that suitable for
this
 generation
such
 as being a lazy person with happiness, or some awareness day about taking care of your emotion
first
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 works later. To summarize, the former and latter paragraphs are all of the causes and solutions to tackle
this
 problem.
Also
, we should seriously consider it as one of the main problems in
this
 period. So, that no one will suffer from
this
 again
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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