in some countries, young people have become richer, healthier, and live longer, but they are less happy. what are the causes? what can be done to address this situation?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
As the
world
Use synonyms
goes by, many things have a difference from the
last
Linking Words
centuries
Use synonyms
.
Last
Linking Words
centuries
Use synonyms
many old
people
Use synonyms
live with good wealth and young
people
Use synonyms
need to fight for themselves in order to be rich, healthy and live longer in their old age.
However
Linking Words
, in the present many young
people
Use synonyms
become billionaires but
this
Linking Words
action has caused their happiness. The following paragraph will be discussing the causes and the solution to help
this
Linking Words
situation,
therefore
Linking Words
the conclusion has been reached. To address the causes of
this
Linking Words
problem
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
comes from the trend of
this
Linking Words
world
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if we look back to the
last
Linking Words
centuries
Use synonyms
, we will find that the
people
Use synonyms
at young ages just follow the order from their adults but nowadays most of the
people
Use synonyms
want to live their life and many parents are forced them that they need to be the best even they are already the best in those things.
In addition
Linking Words
, from the
world
Use synonyms
situation that different from the
last
Linking Words
centuries
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
modern
world
Use synonyms
tends to be a more productive
world
Use synonyms
which makes young
people
Use synonyms
feels they will be useless if they stop to do something and a consequence of
this
Linking Words
make most of the young
people
Use synonyms
have a depressed or feels less happy. To tackle the problem, I believe that we should change the trend of
this
Linking Words
world
Use synonyms
from a productive
world
Use synonyms
to be something that suitable for
this
Linking Words
generation
such
Linking Words
as being a lazy person with happiness, or some awareness day about taking care of your emotion
first
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
works later. To summarize, the former and latter paragraphs are all of the causes and solutions to tackle
this
Linking Words
problem.
Also
Linking Words
, we should seriously consider it as one of the main problems in
this
Linking Words
period. So, that no one will suffer from
this
Linking Words
again
Submitted by satoshi.nmtd on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: