in some countries, young people have become richer, healthier, and live longer, but they are less happy. what are the causes? what can be done to address this situation?

#countries #people #address #situation

As the

world

goes by, many things have a difference from the

last

centuries

Last

centuries

many old

people

live with good wealth and young

people

need to fight for themselves in order to be rich, healthy and live longer in their old age.

However

, in the present many young

people

become billionaires but

this

action has caused their happiness. The following paragraph will be discussing the causes and the solution to help

this

situation,

therefore

the conclusion has been reached. To address the causes of

this

problem

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

comes from the trend of

this

world

Moreover

, if we look back to the

last

centuries

, we will find that the

people

at young ages just follow the order from their adults but nowadays most of the

people

want to live their life and many parents are forced them that they need to be the best even they are already the best in those things.

In addition

, from the

world

situation that different from the

last

centuries

this

modern

world

tends to be a more productive

world

which makes young

people

feels they will be useless if they stop to do something and a consequence of

this

make most of the young

people

have a depressed or feels less happy. To tackle the problem, I believe that we should change the trend of

this

world

from a productive

world

to be something that suitable for

this

generation

such

as being a lazy person with happiness, or some awareness day about taking care of your emotion

first

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

works later. To summarize, the former and latter paragraphs are all of the causes and solutions to tackle

this

problem.

Also

, we should seriously consider it as one of the main problems in

this

period. So, that no one will suffer from

this

again

Submitted by satoshi.nmtd on Sat Dec 11 2021

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

298 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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in some countries, young people have become richer, healthier, and live longer, but they are less happy. what are the causes? what can be done to address this situation?

Fully explain your ideas

You have just bought some clothing online and you are not satisfied with your purchase. Write a letter to the company that you bought the cloth from. In your email Give details of the purchase Describe the problem Explain why you need a replacement urgently

Although family is a powerful influence on a child's life, it is also influenced from outside the home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Research has shown that spending much less time in office can reduce the use Of use of energy (for example electricity, gas). Thus some companies Cole for some days a week. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantage?