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Band 3.5

The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine.Government funding should reflect this.

#prevention #health #illness #treatment #medicine #government
Taking care to avoid diseases and
health
 unsatisfaction should be in the
first
 line of government rather than prescription and medication. To pursue my opinion, I totally agree with the issue. On the one hand, prevention from illness needs less capital,while on the other ,hand it needs less struggle and work. ,
First
 of ,all avoiding disease and its spread need fewer funds
to
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cause it doesn't need any expensive equipment and staff.
Moreover
, the only thing which is necessary to prevent disease is the awareness of people that can be done just by some announcement and
moreover
 by holding some class. Meanwhile,
that is
 the easiest way to avoid the diseases and pandemic,
hence
, there will be no illness and no need for treatment and more expenses,
,,
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Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
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 the headache and trouble of people are going to decrease because of fewer
health
 problems. Which can help the government to detect fewer funds for the
health
 care system by avoiding disease and
health
 problems. Because treatment and medicine need more funds than prevention. To conclude the topic, prevention is better than treatment and medication.
Submitted by noorinahakimi5 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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