Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Many
people
believe that
music
plays a crucial role in combining
people
of different customs and ages from all over the world together. I personally agree with
this
viewpoint for many reasons,
described
Correct word choice
as described
show examples
in the following paragraph. The major reason why some individuals think that
music
is an effective method of bringing
people
who have different backgrounds together is that
music
is not the language of a particular country.
In other words
, folks who are from different parts of the world can comprehend the meaning of the same songs through their melodies.
For example
, k-pop songs are extremely popular and promulgated in various nations.
Moreover
,
music
can mitigate the gap between
people
in old and new generations. To illustrate, numerous TV programs invite older singers to join the show in order to sing with young singers.
In addition
,
music
is responsible for the community of individuals who are from different countries and cultures. In simple terms, there are several
music
schools where students from many nations go to study
such
as the Berklee College of
Music
in the USA
as well as
the Royal College of
Music
in the UK. On top of that,
music
plays a vital role in bringing folks into one place.
That is
to say, if well-known singers like Taylor Swift or Black Pink arrange their concerts, there will be a crowd of
people
attending their concerts. To summarize, there are a number of reasons why folks say that
music
is an efficient way of bringing individuals with different cultures and ages together, and I strongly agree with
this
idea.
Submitted by yanaphonthi on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure there's a clear topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
task achievement
Try to provide a more balanced approach by discussing opposing viewpoints, even if you strongly agree or disagree. This will enrich your essay and show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking phrases to create smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This improvement in cohesion will make your arguments more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Further refine your conclusion by summarizing your arguments more succinctly and restating your personal stance more clearly to leave a lasting impression on the reader.
Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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