IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time and have health problems as a result. Why do so many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that
health
Use synonyms
 problems are caused by the lack of physical
exercise
Use synonyms
 during working and recreation
time
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 issue can be related to
internet
Use synonyms
addiction
Use synonyms
 and the ongoing
pandemic
Use synonyms
. While the roots of these problems are difficult to tackle, there are several ways
people
Use synonyms
 can do to ease
this
Linking Words
 situation. Many
people
Use synonyms
 cannot
work
Use synonyms
 out due to the
Use synonyms
addiction
Correct your spelling
addition
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
internet
Use synonyms
 and the covid
pandemic
Use synonyms
 rampaging over the world. There is numerous research on
internet
Use synonyms
addiction
Use synonyms
 and its effect on
people
Use synonyms
’s
health
Use synonyms
. One of the influences is
people
Use synonyms
 spend
time
Use synonyms
 on the
internet
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of exercising.
For instance
Linking Words
, the research found out
people
Use synonyms
 spend more than 3 hours a day surfing the
internet
Use synonyms
, while the average
time
Use synonyms
 spent exercising is less than 1 hour. Another reason why
people
Use synonyms
 spend little or no physical activities recently is the covid
pandemic
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 virus can have negative effects on your
health
Use synonyms
 if you are exposed to it.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the quarantine policy is preventing
people
Use synonyms
 from going to the gym,
therefore
Linking Words
 fewer options to
exercise
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, there are several ways to improve
this
Linking Words
 situation. The
first
Linking Words
 is spending less
time
Use synonyms
 on the
internet
Use synonyms
 and taking care of physical
health
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 should put away their phones to completely focus on
exercise
Use synonyms
 and spend more
time
Use synonyms
 on it. Turning off the ring tone or shutting down can be done to stay focused. Ironic, physical
exercise
Use synonyms
 is one of the treatments to cure
internet
Use synonyms
 additions. As for the
pandemic
Use synonyms
,
instead
Linking Words
 of going to the gym,
people
Use synonyms
 can still
work
Use synonyms
 out at their homes. Some experts insist that a dumbbell or a bar is the only equipment needed for whole-body
exercise
Use synonyms
. Keeping fit could help
people
Use synonyms
 prevent severe systems of all diseases. In conclusion, workers may have obstacles preventing them from getting fit due to getting little to no physical
exercise
Use synonyms
 during office hours or leisure
time
Use synonyms
. The obstacles can be listed as a
pandemic
Use synonyms
 or
addiction
Use synonyms
 to the
internet
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can still
work
Use synonyms
 out at home or put away the phone to
work
Use synonyms
 out,
therefore
Linking Words
 having a better
health
Use synonyms

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Time constraints
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Passive leisure activities
  • Workplace wellness programs
  • Active commuting
  • Subsidized
  • Public awareness
  • Health benefits
  • Incentivizing
  • Accessible public spaces
What to do next:
Look at other essays: