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Writing Samples
Band 8

When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#town #parks #sports #facilities #centers #people #time
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Designing new cities' layout is one of the most difficult jobs because many factors have to be considered, including the proportion of each amenity. The majority of people believe that
health
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 facilities like public parks and sports
centres
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 are more significant than shopping
centres
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.
Nevertheless
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, I am more convinced that
health
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centres
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 are just as essential as malls. Those who agree with point out that
health
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 issues should be the
first
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 priority, as the number of people with obesity and disease has been increasing these days.
Additionally
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, green areas can be considered as lungs of towns, especially for congested areas like Bangkok. More than 50 per cent of workers in Bangkok said that parks can help them feel better after intense work.
Besides
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, sports
centres
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 are crucial for towns as well. In order to stay healthy, jogging in the park might not be enough for someone. Plus, it offers a wide range of activities which can strengthen the relationship among society and reduce conflicts.
This
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 is partly true,
however
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, it does not mean that those places are more important than retail shops. From my point of view, department stores are equally important to other places since several activities,
such
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 as having quality time with family, watching movies with loved ones, and buying groceries, happen there.
Moreover
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, malls can provide job opportunities for residents which will reduce crime rates and make the city more secure. To sum up, these three places are crucial factors for a livable town.
Health
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centres
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 are responsible for dwellers’
health
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, while retail stores provide fun activities and happiness. So green areas, gyms, and department stores should be weighed equally in town construction.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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