When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#town #parks #sports #facilities #centers #people #time

Designing new cities' layout is one of the most difficult jobs because many factors have to be considered, including the proportion of each amenity. The majority of people believe that

health

facilities like public parks and sports

centres

are more significant than shopping

centres

Nevertheless

, I am more convinced that

health

centres

are just as essential as malls. Those who agree with point out that

health

issues should be the

first

priority, as the number of people with obesity and disease has been increasing these days.

Additionally

, green areas can be considered as lungs of towns, especially for congested areas like Bangkok. More than 50 per cent of workers in Bangkok said that parks can help them feel better after intense work.

Besides

, sports

centres

are crucial for towns as well. In order to stay healthy, jogging in the park might not be enough for someone. Plus, it offers a wide range of activities which can strengthen the relationship among society and reduce conflicts.

This

is partly true,

however

, it does not mean that those places are more important than retail shops. From my point of view, department stores are equally important to other places since several activities,

such

as having quality time with family, watching movies with loved ones, and buying groceries, happen there.

Moreover

, malls can provide job opportunities for residents which will reduce crime rates and make the city more secure. To sum up, these three places are crucial factors for a livable town.

Health

centres

are responsible for dwellers’

health

, while retail stores provide fun activities and happiness. So green areas, gyms, and department stores should be weighed equally in town construction.

Submitted by Rain on Sun Dec 12 2021

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

8.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs ( for example, working for a charity , improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children.

These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people view conflict between teenagers and parents as a necessary part of growing up, while others view it as something negative which should be avoided. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Millions off dollars arre spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standard on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays,more people would rather purchase food than cook at home.What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?