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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #sense #competition #children #co-operate #adults
Many believe that their young ones need to be taught to be competitive during their childhood to be more successful in life, yet there are many who would argue that nurturing a sharing and cooperative mentality at a young age ensures a better future as an adult. In my opinion, learning how to
work
 together growing up can help a
person
 a lot in adulthood rather than constantly fighting to be on top. Teaching children to be on top can help them reach their goals in adulthood. A competitive mindset has
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 advantage of aiming for higher goals rather than settling for something average.
For example
, a class topper in primary school would always aim to study at the best university as an adult and may actually excel in higher studies owing to the competitive mindset.
Similarly
, sports require the factor of competitiveness for an individual to shine. So future national athletes would have
and
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 added advantage if they learn to be the alpha at
young
Add an article
a young
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 age.
On the other hand
, nurturing a young mind with the qualities of kindness and cooperation has its own
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
. Those who can
work
 together can truly become better doctors and nurses as these jobs require a lot of teamwork rather than competition.
Secondly
, learning how to
work
 together can lead to a
person
 having
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 social life and
avoid
Wrong verb form
avoiding
show examples
lonliness
Correct your spelling
loneliness
. Think of a
person
 who helps any
person
 to his ability would be liked by far more people than one who is envious and unhelpful.
Finally
Add a comma
,Finally
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 if the youth are taught to be cooperative, it will ultimately
result
Add the preposition
inresult
fromresult
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 a better world as a whole, since the future leaders would stray away from violence and
work
 together
instead
. To, summerise, a competitive mindset may have
ts
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 perks and may help an individual to achieve a lot in life, but in my point of view, young ones should be taught to be collaborative and supportive since these qualities can help them achieve
individually
Replace the word
individual
show examples
 as well as contribute to a better world as a whole.
Submitted by Mei Lovegood on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • compete
  • cooperate
  • useful
  • adults
  • skills
  • motivation
  • drive
  • resilience
  • failure
  • workplace
  • empathy
  • social skills
  • reduce
  • stress
  • pressure
  • balanced
  • approach
  • ideal
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