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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts show the electricity generated in Germany and France from all sources and renewables in the year 2009.

The pie charts show the electricity generated in Germany and France from all sources and renewables in the year 2009.
#show #electricity #germany #france #sources #renewables #year
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The pie charts compare the
electricity
 production between
Germany
 and France from four different kinds of sources of energy,
such
 as conventional Thermal, renewables and nuclear, in 2009. It is measured in billions
kWh
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of kWh
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. The majority of
electricity
 in
Germany
, which output amounted to 560 billion kWh, originated from conventional thermal, at 59.6%.
In contrast
, the
electricity
 was generated slightly lower than
Germany
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in Germany
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,
a
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with a
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total of 510 billion kWh, with
the
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apply
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most part of it deriving from
nuclear
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the nuclear
a nuclear
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resource
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resources
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, at 76.0% and a small part of it from conventional Thermal (10.3 %),
whereas
 only 23.0% of the
electricity
 was manufactured from
nuclear
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the nuclear
a nuclear
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 resource in
Germany
. As for renewable
resource
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resources
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,
this
 made up
very
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a very
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 similar proportion in both countries, with 14% and 17% of the total amount of
the
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electricity
 respectively. In
Germany
, the bulk of renewables consisted of biomass and wind, with a proportion
39.3
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of 39.3
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% and 36.9% respectively.
In addition
, the other 2 resources are hydroelectric and solar energy, which accounted for 17,7% and 6,1%.
By comparison
, the most part of
renewables
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renewable
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 in France is hydroelectric, representing 80.5 % of the total amount of
the
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apply
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electricity
 and
the
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wind energy
less
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is less
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 used for producing
electricity
, consisting only around 10%. The minority of renewable is biomass and solar, with a proportion of 8,1% and 0,9%.
Overall
, conventional thermal is widely used for generating
electricity
 in
Germany
,
while
 France tends to use nuclear as the main source for the production of
electricity
.
Submitted by weifenghe1993 on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, germany with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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