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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Young people are leaving their homes from rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

#people #homes #areas #study #work #cities #development
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Nowadays, there is an increasing number of young
people
 from rural
areas
 who choose to leave their hometowns for better education and employment opportunities in major
cities
.
This
 is mainly because the urban
areas
 of those
cities
 are relatively better-developed,which can attract more business cooperations and schools to locate.
Although
 the young generations could achieve their ambitions in those major
cities
, I still believe that the disadvantages would outweigh the advantage that
this
 trend brings. Most young
people
 would leave the countryside mainly because there are few employment and education opportunities. Large cooperations and famous schools are usually located in major
cities
, as they need better infrastructure to construct their image and show their competition.
In contrast
, the rural
areas
 are often domain with the agriculture industry, with less attractiveness to the large corporation and colleges. In that way, if someone from a rural area wants to live a better life, he/she need to leave their home.
Although
 young
people
 would find more opportunities to achieve their ambitions in
cities
, there are still many disadvantages behind
this
 trend. In the rural
areas
, with more and more young
people
 moving out , the employment rate would decrease significantly. It would be hard for new industries to develop in those places for the shortage of workers, which can lead to less taxation of the local government. Meanwhile, as most young
people
 leave their hometown, the elderly may be left behind. These elderly
people
 need aged care facilities that need to be supported by local taxation, but
this
 cannot be achieved. In conclusion, with more young
people
 leaving rural
areas
 to major
cities
, the development of their hometown would be affected by the shortage of young workers, which in turn can lead to a lack of tax revenue for local authorities. There would be many elderly
people
 left in the rural with fewer care facilities.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Migration
  • Urbanization
  • Educational institutions
  • Job prospects
  • Wages
  • Economic growth
  • Cultural exchange
  • Overpopulation
  • Cost of living
  • Rural depopulation
  • Social isolation
  • Traditional values
  • Personal growth
  • Recreational activities
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