IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that there are various reasons that can motivate a person to keep working for the same company whereas others say that money is the main reason which gives motivation. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #person #company #money #reason #motivation
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In the present scenario,
every
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
one
 wants to
work
 in
well-known
Add an article
a well-known
show examples
company
.
Although
. it is sometimes thought employees can
work
 in the same institution and there are numerous reasons can affect to
this
 situation, others believe that only
money
 can motivate them. In my opinion, I considered that person can encourage to do
job
Add an article
the job
show examples
 in the particular corporation for
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
 time and more than
one
 factors are responsible. There are several reasons why people want to
work
 in the same organization. The
first
 and foremost important thing is that job satisfaction. Every worker wants they get all respects and proper position on the
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
.
For instance
,
one
 survey has conducted in the UK, more than 70% employees prefer to do
work
 with
one
company
 when the
empoyer
Correct your spelling
employer
 is
suppotive
Correct your spelling
supportive
 and co-operative. Another point to consider
person
Add an article
a person
show examples
 can motivate to
work
 at the same place when they are getting a lot of benefits from
owner
Add an article
the owner
show examples
 of the
company
.
For example
, holiday tour packages, some
percantages
Correct your spelling
percentages
percentage
 of
money
 for their rental house, fuel expenses, school fees for their children and so on.
In addition
, a good
work
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
, rewards for excellent
work
 and promotion are
also
 necessary to motivate them.
On the other hand
, some opponents have
opposite
Add an article
the opposite
show examples
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
, they think that
money
 plays a pivotal role and it has
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 influence.
Furthermore
, people full fill their dreams
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
money
 and it is
also
 useful
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
livehood
Correct your spelling
livelihood
.
Fix the agreement mistake
Humans
show examples
Human
Add an article
A human
The human
show examples
 can not live without enough
money
.
Hence
,
money
motivate
Change the verb form
motivates
show examples
 people to
work
 in the same
company
. In the conclusion, it is true that various reasons
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can motivate to keep working for the same
company
, but the importance of
money
 should not neglect.
Submitted by patelpayal8296 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • motivation
  • job satisfaction
  • personal fulfillment
  • career development
  • growth opportunities
  • continuous learning
  • training
  • promotions
  • positive work environment
  • supportive management
  • good relationships
  • colleagues
  • benefits
  • perks
  • health insurance
  • retirement plans
  • flexible working hours
  • company culture
  • values
  • recognition
  • rewards
  • job security
  • stability
  • economic uncertainty
  • employee loyalty
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