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Writing Samples
Band 4

Children should never be educated at home. Do you Agree

#children #home
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In the
last
Linking Words
 year and a half, we have all experienced what it is like to study from home.
Although
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 it looked good at
first
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 - I didn't have to hurry to
school
Use synonyms
 in the morning, I didn't waste time on the road. But gradually, these benefits began to give way to the negative aspects of
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
 from home, which accumulated over time, so I fully believe that children should attend
school
Use synonyms
. Let's start with one of the most pressing issues of recent times, namely depression among young people.
Linking Words
First
Add a comma
,First
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 we live in a digital world, the phone
steal
Change the verb form
steals
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 the real communication between young people and when we add homeschooling
this
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 become
major
Add an article
a major
show examples
 issue for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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mental health.
In addition
Linking Words
 , that
school
Use synonyms
-age kids can’t build their personalities.
For instance
Linking Words
, they will not have their own personalities and be like exactly their parents.
As a result
Linking Words
, mothers and fathers will raise their copies.
Other
Change the wording
Another
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 main issue is that the parents are not
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
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 in every field we study in
school
Use synonyms
 with sure they cannot explain and make us understand in the way like our teacher will do. Recent researches clearly show that the level of knowledge is dropping since
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
homeschooling
start
Wrong verb form
started
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. In conclusion, I think that students should go to
school
Use synonyms
 and be with people
on
Change preposition
of
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 the same age. Build their independence, confidence, learn and gain experience from different sources and not only from their parents.
Submitted by taniadim74 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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