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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

Some
people
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 care more about earning
money
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instead
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 of being satisfied with their
work
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 experience.
Although
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satisfaction
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 is important, a big income is more essential to provide a quality life and career. From my perspective, I disagree with
this
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 opinion in terms of emotional health and
work
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 performance.
Firstly
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,
satisfaction
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 in
work
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 plays a major role in a person’s mental health and happiness. If someone enjoys what they do, it is more likely to wake up each day feeling motivated and positive, and
this
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also
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 makes most
people
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 feel satisfied.
For example
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,
people
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 who
work
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 only for
money
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 may experience stress, especially if they do not like their job duties or daily tasks.
Therefore
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, no amount of
money
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 can replace a person’s emotional well-being.
Secondly
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,
people
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 who are happy with their job tend to perform better. When someone is passionate about their
work
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, the level of hard
work
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 increases.
For instance
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, most long-term professions offer a better
work
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-life balance and, eventually, it will affect a person’s skill development and personal growth.
On the other hand
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, employees who only labour for paychecks will perform the required tasks with minimal performance and their careers will probably stay at the same level and will never advance.
Also
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, more performance means getting a promotion and earning more
money
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.
Hence
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, efficiency and income are directly related, which is why
satisfaction
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 is more important than anything else.
To conclude
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, I think both issues are important.
However
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, for long-term happiness and
overall
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 success, job
satisfaction
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 is at the top.
Thus
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,
people
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 should focus more on finding an occupation with enjoyment.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly summarize your main points in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Use simpler sentences for better clarity.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic.
task achievement
You have good examples to support your points about job satisfaction.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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