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Band 3

Prison is the best punishment for criminals. To what extant you agree or disagree ?

#prison #punishment #criminals
Nowadays the rate of crime
is rapidly increase
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is rapidly increasing
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 and government makes every effort to control the misdeed . I
am fully disagree
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fully disagree
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 with the statement that jail is
the
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a
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 good place for offenders because most of the criminals think that jail is not a punishment it is a new home of ours and that place can save our lives from
other party
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another party
other parties
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 who tried to kill
him
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
Government
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The government
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 needs to spend more money on education because more people
educated
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are educated
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 and doing jobs in companies
then
 the crime
is reduce
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is reduced
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. At present most
of
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apply
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small
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the small
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 offenders are going to prison for
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small-time
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small
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a small
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 time but they can meet
crowd
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a crowd
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 who are
master
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masters
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 in felony and they can
mindwash
Correct your spelling
mind wash
mind was
 his brain by telling
that
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them that
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 if you kill a person you can earn good money and there is no big punishment for
kill
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the kill
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 because they are uneducated that's why they believe them and change his route from theft to kill a person.
Government
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The government
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 needs to take steps to divide the offenders according to their misdeed and stop that increased breach . Most of the community want to drop our profession of killing but they don't know how to remove
from
Correct pronoun usage
it from
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Add an article
the
a
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business . authority need to help those people by giving knowledge about how they can change
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 lives by providing jobs and busy on other work that process can help in reducing the crime rate.
Submitted by Tanugulia09 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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