Many manfactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which casues many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #casues #health #people

Today, high levels of

sugar

are contained in various kinds of food especially, manufactured food, which causes many diseases. In my opinion, sugary products should not be made expensive to stop eating them much. Many

people

are fond of eating them like snacks, fizzy drinks from children to adults. taking too much

sugar

cause sickness or disease and threaten our health.

However

, just consuming the appropriate amount of snacks or juice lead to decreasing in our stress. Raising their price makes

people

hesitate to buy what they love to eat or drink.

Therefore

, making them expensive brings

people

more stress and serious mental diseases.

Secondly

sugar

functions positively in our daily life if we are careful of frequency and amount.

Sugar

and glucose help our work more efficient. It is demonstrated scientifically that glucose help to concentrate on working and studying.

Furthermore

, it

also

plays a role that it releasing our fatigue and stress. In

this

way, if we are careful of eating too much, it is healthy rather than unhealthy. In conclusion, I disagree with the opinion that the cost of sugary products should be higher. Making expensive does not necessarily function as encouraging

people

to be healthier.

On the contrary

, it will bring mental sick and lower working efficiency.

Submitted by nogikeyakihill55 on Tue Dec 14 2021

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

211 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many manfactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which casues many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that consumerism can boost the economy and create business and jobs. Others consider that society becomes a ‘throw-away society’ producing unnecessary waste. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their perosnal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweighs the disadvantages?

Many people no longer read newspapers or watch TV news programmes. Instead they get news about the world from the Internet. Is this a positive or negative development?