IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

globalisation has both advantages and disadvantages. discuss both and give your opinion

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Nowadays, there is a surge in technology and transportation
as a result
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 of connecting all societies together.
This
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 essay will discuss both pros and cons of
this
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 statement. Some people
said
Wrong verb form
say
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 that
there
Correct pronoun usage
this
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 is the main drawback of globalisation.
Firstly
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, the
damaging
Replace the word
damage
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of
Change preposition
to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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natural resources
such
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 as forests.
Due to
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 the fast success in the country, many countries try to construct the manufacture which destroys a group of trees leading to global warming in the future.
Secondly
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, the disappearance of traditions and culture will occur between the nations which are open
for
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to
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 investors.
Thus
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,
this
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 development
is
Verb problem
has
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 a major effect on the culture in those regions.
For example
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, Thailand opens many spaces for foreigners who want to invest and build factories in that area. Next 10 years, those places lose their signature culture, i.e., language,
cloth
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clothes
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, and architecture to become similar to those countries.
On the other hand
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, many people consider that the development in the global leads to more advantages. The economic growth is
such
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 reason because the world village will improve the trade around the world
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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increases
Wrong verb form
increasing
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in
Change preposition
apply
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import
Fix the agreement mistake
imports
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 and
export
Fix the agreement mistake
exports
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 for merchants.
Therefore
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, the product can be shipped to other places without a barrier.
Additionally
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, the migration of
population
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the population
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 in developing state is
also
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 the main advantage because they can travel to other places to work and study which reduce the rate of unemployment.
Finally
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, each nation can share ideas to help humans pass through the pandemic
such
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 as COVID-19. In conclusion, even though globalisation has negative impacts.
However
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, I strongly feel that the connection among countries
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 advantages that far outweigh the disadvantages because they impact economic growth and population in poorer nations.

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coherence cohesion
The main body arguments lack development and coherence in presentation. Focus on providing more detailed support for each point and ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion lack specificity and clarity. It's important to clearly state the position and provide a concise summary of the main points in both sections.
task achievement
While the essay addresses the task and presents relevant ideas, the argumentation and examples need further development and support. Focus on elaborating on each point and providing specific examples for a more comprehensive response.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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