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Many people are now spending more and more time travelling to work or school. Some people believe that this is a negative development while others think there are some benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion .

#people #time #work #school #development
In
this
 day and age ,more and more
people
 are spending a lot of
time
 travelling to different places
such
 as
work
 or
school
. Many
claims
Fix the agreement mistake
claim
show examples
 that
this
 could be a detrimental development.
However
 ,some
people
 opine that they have some benefits. In my ,opinion, I believe that
this
 situation could have some negative expansion.
Firstly
 ,in my ,view, the
detrimental
Replace the word
detriments
show examples
 of having to commute longer to
work
 or
school
 are conspicuous. For ,example, when the public exploits transport systems and cars to travel to their destination they create a lot of air pollution.
This
 would be a noticeable danger for humans.
Also
 ,environmental problems have been increasing.
This
 could definitely be a dire situation for arriving at
people
's destination.
Therefore
 ,
this
 makes it clear why some
people
 have an opposite opinion
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 circumstance and believe that there could be a negative.
Secondly
 ,the benefits of a longer commute to
work
 or
school
 are multiple.
For instance
 ,humans who decide to use
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 transport system can have more personal
time
 for their leisure activities
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
reading books ,listening to music and conducting activities separate from
work
 or education.
This
 would help them to achieve
energy
Correct article usage
the energy
show examples
 to stay at the workplace and education centre and do their assignment.
As a result
 ,it becomes apparent that spending
time
 travelling to
work
 or
school
 could not be without distinctive and positive reasons. To summarise ,the two sides of the argument are concerning the prospect of spending
time
 to travel
different
Change preposition
to different
show examples
 places that humans want to go
have
Correct word choice
and have
show examples
 strong support.
However
 ,after a thorough analysis of both sides ,I strongly believe that
this
 could be negative and would have some drawbacks. It is predicted that the problems of the trend will continue to increase in the near future.
Submitted by maede.sadeghi8520 on

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task response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses all aspects of the task. It is important to present a balanced view and provide clear and supported ideas for both views.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure and logical progression of ideas. Use cohesive devices and linking words to improve coherence and cohesion.
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