Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required

Encouraging
people
to do physical
activities
by creating numerous
sports
facilities is being considered to raise the health rate of citizens by most
people
.
However
, I believe there are other desirable measures that can be taken, as will now be discussed At the outset, I admit an increased number of
sports
possibilities involves
people
doing physical
activities
better than any other type of fascination which can aid to improve the community's healthiness. Since given opportunities for training
sports
activities
captivate more members of the community as it has been remaining for a long time by scientists.
For example
, having trained most
people
feel fit themselves and they tend to spend ample amount of time doing sport
activities
On the other hand
, there are many feasible remedies that can be taken in order to keep citizens healthy. Most dangerous habits,
for example
, smoking and getting used to a sedentary lifestyle are influencing seriously
people
's health. By severing the influx of any kind of cigarettes to the country and inspiring the public not only
sports
activities
but
also
to do beneficial for their livelihood government can attain more fruitful targets In conclusion,
although
I agree to
doing
Change the verb form
do
show examples
physical
activities
may be a good measure,but I am convinced it can not be the best remedy
Submitted by Qcutruxa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
What to do next:
Look at other essays: