IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

2. It was suggested that everyone in the world wants to own a car, a TV and a fridge. Do you think the disadvantages of such a development outweigh advantages?

#world #car #tv #fridge #development
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The importance of having
vehical
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vehicle
 ,
televison
Correct your spelling
television
also
Linking Words
 refrigerator are
basic
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the basic
a basic
show examples
 need of
luxery
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luxury
 to
human
Add an article
a human
show examples
 being has always been debatable, has now become more controversial. The substantial influence of having them with you has sparked
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
controversy over the potential impact of
this
Linking Words
 trend in recent years. it can be agreed that
car
Use synonyms
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 us to reach on time and
also
Linking Words
 protect us from dust while going for work and
tv
Use synonyms
 is for entertainment purpose while
frige
Correct your spelling
fridge
 helps to keep beverage fresh.
This
Linking Words
eassy
Correct your spelling
essay
easy
 will elaborate on the
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
 aspects of advantages rather than
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
 and will lead logical conclusion.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there are numerous
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 why it is
nescessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 to have
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
them
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
car
Use synonyms
 is good for
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
 trip even one small whole family could fit in and go wherever
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 want
morover
Correct your spelling
moreover
 it is safe
in
Add a hyphen
in-car
show examples
Use synonyms
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
 if we compare to another
traveling
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travelling
show examples
 machine, but the most conspicuous one stems
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 the fact when covid breakout
happend
Correct your spelling
happened
happens
car
Use synonyms
 was the
first
Linking Words
 choice of
travaling
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travelling
 cause it is
comletely
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completely
 cover.
futhermore
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furthermore
 virus cannot enter the
car
Use synonyms
.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
 less accidental chances.
Therefore
Linking Words
 ,
Use synonyms
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
 is not
such
Linking Words
 a development
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Tv
Use synonyms
 and
fridege
Correct your spelling
fridge
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
also
Linking Words
 not
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 development the key justification for upholding the notion is rooted in the fact that
tv
Use synonyms
 is good for
them
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
 who love
entertaiment
Correct your spelling
entertainment
,news, and
tv
Use synonyms
 shows it
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 us
stress free
Add a hyphen
stress-free
show examples
 time and
also
Linking Words
 without
fridege
Correct your spelling
fridge
 our all food will get rotten. As an illustration, according to
recent
Add an article
a recent
show examples
 survey conducted by researchers, has proven
with
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
three item
Add a hyphen
three-item
show examples
 human cannot
survie
Correct your spelling
survive
 for
along
Correct your spelling
a long
show examples
 while with
tv
Use synonyms
 depression has proven that 85%
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 got depressed without
televison
Correct your spelling
television
,
Moreover
Linking Words
,
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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