IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. To what extent do you agree?

#people #media #coverage #celebrities #effect #children
Reading celebrity
news
 is one of the most popular pastimes in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern society, as
people
 have always wanted to know more about the lives of their idols.
Nevertheless
, there is an increasing number of
people
 who
also
 believe that
media
 coverage of celebrities has been impacting
children
 in a negative way. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will discuss different views and provide my own ideas on
this
 issue. Nowadays, it is not difficult to learn about the lifestyles of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public figures
such
 as actors or singers, as you can frequently encounter
news
 devoted to them in the
newpapers
Correct your spelling
newspapers
 or on the Internet websites. In the modern times of advanced technology pictures of celebrities' private life may appear instantaneously on Facebook or Instagram to
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 great admiration of their followers. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 one of the reasons why a growing number of
people
 believe that
media
 coverage has a negative influence on the younger generation is that
children
 will sometimes go to extremes in order to look or behave like their idols. Since famous
people
 have not always been known for their moral excellency, imitation of their behaviour by
children
 may lead to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
moral degradation of young souls.
Although
this
 point of view is reasonable and has many supporters, I am of a slightly different opinion on
this
 controversial issue. I believe that parents, as the guardians and protectors of their
children
's physical and mental well-being, should bear a share of responsibility for what kind of
news
 and
media
 reports their offsprings have access to. From my perspective, the role model of parents has a much greater impact on their
children
's development and formation of character than
media
 coverage of celebrities has ever had. To conclude, I would like to reaffirm my position that the influence of celebrity
news
 on
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
 generation is quite insignificant compared to the importance of the family environment on the mental health and development of
children
.
Submitted by rashidjuansen26 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Celebrity culture
  • Glamorization
  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Self-esteem
  • Scandals
  • Role models
  • Moral development
  • Mental health
  • Influence
  • Exposure
  • Social media platforms
  • Charity work
  • Inappropriate behavior
  • Perfection image
  • Negative impact
  • Inspire children
What to do next:
Look at other essays: