SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT STUDYING HISTORY IS A WASTE OF TIME. OTHER THINK IT IS ESSENTIAL TO LEARN HISTORY. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION.

In modern society,

history

is one of the most important subjects. While some think that learning

history

is a waste of time, others believe that it is vital. As far as I am concerned, studying the past is important in terms of the high valued relationships among nations. The

first

aspect to point out is that there is a belief that learning what happened in the past is a waste of time.

This

because

Add the preposition

ofbecause

show examples

some focus on living in the present more than in the past. There are some social issues in the communities which affect our daily life.

Therefore

, it is understandable that solving these problems are prioritised for them. If those concerns were solved, there would be fewer problems in the future which would lead us to live a more comfortable life.

However

, it could be suggested that learning

history

is very important for everyone to enhance relationships in the communities. As globalisation has allowed us to travel around easily, individuals have more opportunities to communicate with other nationalities. It is a fact that there were many wars in the past which causes conflicts among people if they do not understand what happened in the past.

Additionally

, there was a record about the atomic bomb in Japan, the public learned the importance of peace in the world. In order to avoid having severe problems, individuals need to study

history

. To conclude, there is no doubt that people tend to focus on the present rather than the past, they need to study

history

in order to have high valued relationships and preserve the peaceful world in modern society.

Submitted by hiromi-o.1828 on Wed Dec 15 2021

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT STUDYING HISTORY IS A WASTE OF TIME. OTHER THINK IT IS ESSENTIAL TO LEARN HISTORY. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that it is the responsibility of governments to take care of the environment, while others believe that it is the responsibility of the citizens. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you gree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don`t. Discuss both these points of views and give your own opinion.