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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people work longer hours, leaving little time for leisure activities. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities
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Employees starting to work overtime so the amount of time for their hobbies is less than before. I believe that the downsides overshadow its upside. Since
this
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 will affect not only their physical
health
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 but
also
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 mental
health
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. Working longer hours may have some positive effects for workers in terms of promotion or salary.
For instance
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, If employers see a person still in the office when the other employees already left, they will consider that person more productive and diligent.
Therefore
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 that type of person will be promoted or their wages will be higher.
However
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, the negative effects are much worse, your
health
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 will worsen every day if you only sit on the chair and devote yourself to work.
In addition
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, your mental
health
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 and feelings will
also
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 be affected
For example
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, Employees would become more stressed since they cannot do the activities their wish to do,
such
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 as going to the cinema or playing sports.
Moreover
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,
this
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 can lead to a mental illness, maybe they will have depression and in the worst
case
Add a comma
,case
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 they might commit suicide if they can cope with the stress anymore. In conclusion, even though there are some merits for people who work overtime, I still think that
this
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 type of action is unhealthy, some people can have stress or some illness about their bodies. There is
also
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 a chance that they will commit suicide.
Submitted by Bussara.bb2804 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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