IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Nowadays people are spending more time in workplace and staying away from home for work Discuss its advantages and disadvantages with your own experiences

#people #time #workplace #home #work #experiences
Experts throughout the world have argued that the masses are sparing more time in office
work
 rather than spending time with their families.
This
 essay will discuss the potential pros and cons of
such
 a trend with relevant examples in detail. On the one hand, employees
work
 overtime for various reasons.
Firstly
, they earn handsome income so, employers expect high-quality jobs in return.
In addition
, sometimes we have to
work
 against the clock to complete many challenging tasks which will make us feel that we will not be able to escape the rat race.
However
, employers offer promotions or high pay for those who do overtime and quality job.
As a result
, they can lead a high-quality life.
For example
, one of my friends was recently promoted to a Manager within 3 years of his experience because he is a workaholic and earning substantial wages.
On the other hand
, working more than office hours leads to health problems and stress.
This
 is to say that, we may neglect to spend time with our family and friends that may lead to problems.
Moreover
, too much
work
 causes health issues like back pain, anxiety and posture issues which in turn leads to stress that would result in high blood pressure and obesity.
For example
, 80% of working people are having heart diseases because of stress.
Furthermore
, there is no balance between
work
 life and personal life which will impact employee productivity and efficiency. To conclude,
although
 working more hours give benefits
such
 as promotion and high wages, the risk of having health issues outweigh the advantages. Employees should have a
work
-life balance to be more productive.
Submitted by jeeanay on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: