IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #ages #populations #yemen #projections #summarise #features #comparisons
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The given diagram shows the data about Yemen and Italian
people
Use synonyms
 with their ages in 2000 and
projection
Fix the agreement mistake
projections
show examples
 for 2050. We can see that the percentage of
of
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
60+
years
Use synonyms
 old population in Yemen is
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 dramatically higher level compared to schoolchildren in 2000.
While
Linking Words
 adult
people
Use synonyms
 between 15 and 59
years
Use synonyms
 have
nearer
Add an article
a nearer
show examples
 percentage
to
Change preposition
than
show examples
 the old. We can see that the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 in Yemen are between 0-14
years
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
 in 2050 projection it will be replaced by 15-59
years
Use synonyms
 old
people
Use synonyms
(57.3%). The old population will increase slightly from 3.6% to 5.7% but
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
 it is
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the lowest percentage among other ages. It is clear from the
char
Correct your spelling
chart
show examples
 that teenager groups go down rapidly from 50.1% to 37% between 2000 and 2050. In Italy 15-59
years
Use synonyms
 old
people
Use synonyms
 maintain
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 highest level in
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both
years
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
 the number of
people
Use synonyms
 with 60+
years
Use synonyms
 will go up
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a considerable amount from 24.1% in 2000 to 42.3% in 2050.
0
Correct article usage
The 0
show examples
-14
years
Use synonyms
 group will dip down gradually by 3%. In conclusion,60+
years
Use synonyms
 old
people
Use synonyms
 have an upward trend in both countries.
Submitted by ulkerh999 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • population distribution
  • age group
  • population pyramid
  • projections
  • young population
  • aging population
  • demographic shift
  • increase in elderly population
  • proportion
  • percentage
  • population dynamics
  • top-heavy
  • balanced age distribution
  • healthcare needs
  • pension provision
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