IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Demand for gas and oil is increasing and so finding new sources in remote and untouched areas is a necessity. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is
common
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a common
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 belief that discovering new
sources
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 of fossil
fuels
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 in intact and isolated areas of the Earth proves indispensable in regard to increasing demand for them.
Although
Linking Words
 finding a new origin of gas and oil has many benefits, the drawbacks involved are of importance to be scrutinised. On the plus side, it may appear that
discovery
Correct article usage
the discovery
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 of fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
 in the intact region proves beneficial. The
first
Linking Words
 underlying justification is concerned with improving the living standard of humans
specially
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especially
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 in developing countries that are completely relied on
fuels
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 for their vital necessities
such
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 as heating their houses, producing goods and running
of
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apply
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cars and planes. Simply put, the new
sources
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 of
fuels
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 which are discovered in the isolated parts of
world
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the world
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 help to not only
improving
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improve
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 the quality of living but
also
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 directly
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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gives a sense of convenience and welfare to individuals.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
for
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apply
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finding extra energy
sources
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 is required
to
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for
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the
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a
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 large number of labours. As a direct result, it provides a wide range of job opportunities including digging, road construction, installing pipelines for
peoples
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people
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. Having said that, the downsides of finding new energy
sources
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 should not be underestimated.
To begin
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 with, it seems that takes a devastating toll on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature and biodiversity. To be more precise, it is essential that natural habitats of animals and plants
is
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are
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 destroyed and replaced by necessary infrastructures
of
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for
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 finding extra
sources
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 of energy.
Furthermore
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, for being comfortable
of
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with
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 workers, some accommodations are established in these areas that lead to some flora and fauna species
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
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in
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on
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edge
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the edge
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 of extinction. an obvious example of
this
Linking Words
, the number of polar bears is
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduced
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 during
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
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 decades due to
exploring
Replace the word
exploration
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 in
north
Correct article usage
the north
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 pole. On balance, the tendency of detecting new
sources
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 in untouched areas would be both rewarding and problematic. While it may guarantee
better
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a better
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 quality of human life,
ecosystem
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the ecosystem
an ecosystem
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 is highly likely
suffer
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to suffer
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 from its dire consequences

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological advancements
  • fostering innovations
  • renewable energy sources
  • energy security
  • geopolitical tensions
  • economic benefits
  • job creation
  • infrastructure development
  • environmental risks
  • habitat destruction
  • irreversible damage
  • perpetuates dependence
  • transitioning
  • indigenous and local communities
  • ethical and social challenges
What to do next:
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