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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

the charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliance

the charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliance
#show #changes #ownership #appliance
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The line graphs detail the total percentage of
households
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 with electrical devices and the
number
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 of hours of
housework
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 in
households
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 in one country
during
Change preposition
between
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 1920 and 2019. Generally, as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can be seen from the graphs, it is absolutely obvious that there was an upward trend regarding ownership of electrical devices during
this
Linking Words
 99-year period.
In contrast
Linking Words
 to the
number
Use synonyms
 of owners of electrical appliances, there was a downward trend in terms of the amount of time spent doing
housework
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 in
households
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 per week. In order to be specific, the
housework
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 task itself covers washing clothes, preparing meals, and cleaning. In relation to the percentage of
households
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 with electrical appliances, at first, in the year 1920, 40% of
people
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 had washing machines and followed by the
number
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 of
people
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 who owned refrigerators and
vacuum
Use synonyms
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
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 were 30% and 0%, respectively. In detail, refrigerator purchases recorded a giant growth
during
Change preposition
from
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 1920 to 1960 from nearly 0% to 90% and reached a stagnancy at 100% in 1980.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
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 who bought
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vacuum
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 cleaners increased quite
significant
Change the word
significantly
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 from 1920 to 2000 and
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2000 stayed at 100%. At
last
Linking Words
, the ownership of washing machines showed
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fluctuation during the period and slightly increased from 40% in 1920 to approximately 72% in 2019. There was an interesting change in
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
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 behaviour in terms of ownership of electronic appliances from 1920 to 2019. At
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first time, the majority of
people
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 owned washing machines and
vacuum
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 cleaners but after 1920 more society started to buy refrigerators.
This
Linking Words
 massive accumulation of purchases in refrigerators made the sales of
this
Linking Words
 device beyond the
vacuum
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 cleaner. In terms of the other line graph, the
number
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 of hours spent doing
housework
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 in
households
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 plunged significantly from 1920 to 1960 and
then
Linking Words
 from 1960 to 2019 the decreasing trend was slow.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words households, number, housework, people, vacuum with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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