Governments give lots of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#governments #lots #support #artists #people #waste #money

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Many

people

think that the

government

have been

overed

Correct your spelling

covered

offered

support

for

artists

, which

people

believe

this

money

should be spent at somewhere more important. While some

artists

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

developed lots of

artworks

to attract tourists to

increas

Correct your spelling

increase

the economic revenue.

However

, some

artworks

are too expensive,

people

think

instead

of wasting all the

money

for

Change preposition

show examples

artworks

, is it better to use that fund in the hospital and age care. In

this

Correct your spelling

essay

show examples

assay

Correct your spelling

essay

show examples

I will argue that the

government

have

Add the particle

tohave

show examples

give

Wrong verb form

given

show examples

enomours

Correct your spelling

enormous

support

artists

, meanwhile,

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

people

think it is wasting

money

arts

Correct article usage

the arts

show examples

. If they could save some

money

for

Change preposition

show examples

support

the hospital and

agecare

Correct your spelling

care

aged care

that will be much better.

Artists

have developed

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

artworks

in many different places, painting wall is very popular in the cities, we

also

can see other different

artworks

build in the park, on the side of the street and at some famous places. These art

design

Change the determiner

designs

show examples

have been

success

Replace the word

successful

show examples

to attracted

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

traveller from anywhere, which

poeple

Correct your spelling

people

like to visit some places with

lot

Correct article usage

a lot

show examples

nice

view

Fix the agreement mistake

views

show examples

for photographs.

As a result

people

come to a

plce

Correct your spelling

place

not just for the nice view or

artworks

, they will spend

money

Change preposition

show examples

hopitalies

Correct your spelling

hospitality

accommadations

Correct your spelling

accommodations

accommodation

and shopping as well.

Therefore

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

cities or

area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

show examples

will become famous and the

economic

Replace the word

economy

show examples

will increase

rapinly

Correct your spelling

rapidly

, so that, the

government

can get more income tax to cover the

artists

Change to a genitive case

artist's

artists'

show examples

funds

Although

artworks

can help the

economic

Replace the word

economy

show examples

however

Add the comma(s)

,however

show examples

, some

people

believe it is over provided

the

Add the preposition

with the

show examples

artisist

Correct your spelling

artist

, as

hospital

Fix the agreement mistake

hospitals

show examples

and

agecare

are need

Change the verb form

are needed

show examples

funds

, while now is the pandemic time. In today covid-19 virus has been spread

Change preposition

apply

show examples

everywhere, in many

Change to a plural noun

hospitals

show examples

hospital

Add a comma

,hospital

show examples

they are short of

equitments

Correct your spelling

equipment

requirements

and Covid-19 test kit,

agecare

Correct your spelling

age care

also

needs more antibacterial

cleannig

Correct your spelling

cleaning

equitments

Correct your spelling

equipment

requirements

to make sure all the elderly are living in the

save

Replace the word

safe

show examples

envirnoment

Correct your spelling

environment

Therefore

, some residents believe the

governement

Correct your spelling

government

should put more

funds

for

Change preposition

into

show examples

these 2 department

Change the determiner

this 2 department

these 2 departments

show examples

instead

of wasting the

money

on arts.

Eventhought

Correct your spelling

Even though

Even thought

the

governement

Correct your spelling

government

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

been spent

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

money

support

artists

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

artworks

can increase the

economic

Replace the word

economy

show examples

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

both businesses and

government

can get

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

benefits

Wrong verb form

benefit

show examples

Change preposition

from

show examples

it.

Futhermore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, hospital and

agecare

Correct your spelling

aged care

are

Correct your spelling

care

show examples

both needs to

be consider

Change the verb form

be considered

show examples

too, as it

hopitals

Correct your spelling

hospitals

and

agecare

are about

people

live. In my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

I think the

government

should put more

funds

for

hopitals

Correct your spelling

hospitals

and

agecare

Correct your spelling

care

in the future,

artswork

Correct your spelling

artwork

will help the country for

keeping

Wrong verb form

keep

show examples

in the

finacialy

Correct your spelling

financially

financial

stable but is less important than

people

live.

Submitted by junechan822 on Sun Dec 19 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
8
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
68
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

407 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

government patronage
cultural heritage
national identity
creative industries
unnecessary expense
essential services
democratize
private patronage
market forces
innovation
boost tourism
subjective nature
allocated ineffectively

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Governments give lots of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are become more isolated. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In the current society, many people are struggling with obesity. What are the main causes of this? What are the effects?

Ambition is a positive quality for people to have in society today. How important is it for people who want to succeed in life?

A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree?