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Band 4.5

Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic?

#people #effects #epidemic
Nowadays there is
growing
Add an article
a growing
the growing
show examples
 number of overweight the society.
this
 epidemic will be because of unhealthy food and inactivity. the essay will discuss more on the
causes
 of
obesity
 and possible solutions.
To begin
 with ,the foremost cause of
obesity
 is unhealthy eating habits and inactive lifestyles .Today most
people
 rely on machines to do work, walking is no longer a routine practice as
people
 prefer to drive cars to their destination .
this
 results
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 fewer
calories
 of energy burn by the body throughout the day .
On the other hand
people
 consumer fast food which contains
higher
Add an article
a higher
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 number of
calories
 and not enough nutrients which
causes
 weight gain over time
for instance
 a slice of 15inch pizza contains about 500
calories
 and some
people
 will order a whole pizza for dinner
instead
 of cooking a healthy with vegetables and
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
calories
. The possible effects of
this
 are physical
health
 problems, poor mental
health
, and low
quality
 of
life
.
Obesity
 is associated with
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
health
 issues like coronary heart disease, high cholesterol, diabetes among others. These diseases progress with
poor
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a poor
show examples
 prognosis due to
obesity
.
Secondly
, mental
health
 issues and poor
life
quality
,
people
 living with
obesity
 can be isolated because they get tired moving around, they suffer stress and become less productive.
this
 limits their interaction with
people
 making it difficult
live
Fix the infinitive
to live
show examples
 a
quality
life
. In conclusion,
obesity
 is a concern today as it affects a lot of
people
. unhealthy food
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and inactivity are the major
causes
 of
obesity
.
obesity
causes
 physical
health
 problems, mental
health
 concerns and low
quality
 of
life
.
Submitted by veranendang12 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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