IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic?

#people #effects #epidemic
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Nowadays there is
growing
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a growing
the growing
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 number of overweight the society.
this
Linking Words
 epidemic will be because of unhealthy food and inactivity. the essay will discuss more on the
causes
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 of
obesity
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 and possible solutions.
To begin
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 with ,the foremost cause of
obesity
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 is unhealthy eating habits and inactive lifestyles .Today most
people
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 rely on machines to do work, walking is no longer a routine practice as
people
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 prefer to drive cars to their destination .
this
Linking Words
 results
to
Change preposition
in
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 fewer
calories
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 of energy burn by the body throughout the day .
On the other hand
Linking Words
people
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 consumer fast food which contains
higher
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a higher
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 number of
calories
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 and not enough nutrients which
causes
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 weight gain over time
for instance
Linking Words
 a slice of 15inch pizza contains about 500
calories
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 and some
people
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 will order a whole pizza for dinner
instead
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 of cooking a healthy with vegetables and
less
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fewer
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calories
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. The possible effects of
this
Linking Words
 are physical
health
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 problems, poor mental
health
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, and low
quality
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 of
life
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.
Obesity
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 is associated with
of
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apply
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health
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 issues like coronary heart disease, high cholesterol, diabetes among others. These diseases progress with
poor
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a poor
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 prognosis due to
obesity
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.
Secondly
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, mental
health
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 issues and poor
life
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quality
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,
people
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 living with
obesity
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 can be isolated because they get tired moving around, they suffer stress and become less productive.
this
Linking Words
 limits their interaction with
people
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 making it difficult
live
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to live
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 a
quality
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life
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. In conclusion,
obesity
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 is a concern today as it affects a lot of
people
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. unhealthy food
,
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apply
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 and inactivity are the major
causes
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 of
obesity
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.
obesity
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causes
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 physical
health
Use synonyms
 problems, mental
health
Use synonyms
 concerns and low
quality
Use synonyms
 of
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by veranendang12 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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