Some people think that the government should provide unemployed people with a free mobile phone and free access to the internet to help them find jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option? Give reasons for your answer and include any relative examples form your own knowledge and experience.

Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
, due to the
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
is
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
in recession there are lots of graduate students
haven’t
Correct pronoun usage
who haven’t
show examples
find
Change the verb form
found
show examples
their
jobs
. Some
people
hold that
government
must provide
them
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
mobile
Add an article
the mobile
show examples
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
so that those unemployed students can use
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
to find
jobs
, while others stand that there is
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
necessary to provide
Add an article
a phone
show examples
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
to every unemployed
people
.
This
essay totally
disagree
Change the verb form
disagrees
show examples
that
government
should give mobile
phone
to no
job
person.
Firstly
, the reason why
government
needn’t provide
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
is that
this
is not a solution for them to find their
jobs
. Having
phone
Correct article usage
a phone
show examples
(to access the internet) is one of the factors that can help them to find
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
job
, while it is not the biggest factor why they can’t find
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
job
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
the biggest question that why they can’t find the
job
is that they do not have a special skill or enough ability for them to be employed. (The skills they have are not needed or out of date.) The
first
thing
government
must open a class (training programmers) for them to learn
such
as computer
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
or some
others license
Fix the agreement mistake
other licenses
show examples
(training courses).
Furthermore
, the way of using the internet and mobile phones is uncontrollable. We don’t know whether mobile phones will bring
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
for jobless
people
or not.
In addition
, it might have a possibility that some
people
want to have a mobile
phone
and refuse to find
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
job
.
Due to
Change preposition
Government
show examples
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
will give every unemployed
people
(jobless
people
) a
phone
,
would
Correct pronoun usage
which would
show examples
let some
people
think that if they don’t have a
job
, they will have a free mobile
phone
.
As a result
, the motivation of finding a
job
will decline. In conclusion,
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
unemployed
people
with a free mobile
phone
is not a good way for
people
to find
jobs
. In
worse
Add a comma
,worse
show examples
it will be a factor that
people
dislike finding a
job
. For a good solution,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should open a class (give a free and better-quality training) for unemployed students to learn more
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
or have some other new skills for them to have
a higher opportunities
Correct the article-noun agreement
a higher opportunity
higher opportunities
show examples
(more efficient a helping the unemployed ) to find a
job
.
Submitted by celinelee0903 on

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Linking words for giving examples:

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  • such as
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  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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