Students perform better in school when they are rewarded rather than punished. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#students #school

In ,education some teachers will give

punishment

students

do the wrong thing or because of a bad

score

. Some people think that

students

will have a better behave if the teacher gives

students

rewards, while others hold that because of the

punishment

student

have a better performance.

This

essay discusses both sides and stands that

students

will perform better when they are rewarded. The most significant reason why

students

perform better if teachers give rewards is because of motivation.

Students

will have more motivated if they know that having a good

score

can bring them definitely.

For example

, when I was a

student

, I want to have more money to buy the thing I want. In

this

,situation if I know that have good behaviour in school or have a good

score

my mother will rise my pocket money, I will study harder and be a good

student

due to the reward.

Furthermore

, giving rewards can let

students

feel a sense of accomplishment. Due to creating the

accomplishment

student

will try their best in school.

On the other hand

punishment

might let

students

have good behaviour due to being afraid of the

punishment

, whereas

this

will not stay for a long time.

Students

will never understand why they need to have a good

score

or why they need to have a better performance. They only understand that having bad behaviour will that they to be punished.

This

will not bring benefit in their future. In conclusion,

students

will have a better performance in school when they are rewarded. In my opinion,

this

will definitely bring good effect for

students

In addition

punishment

will only bring a short time of result, for

student

’s future punish is not the best way in education.

Submitted by celinelee0903 on Mon Dec 20 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Students perform better in school when they are rewarded rather than punished. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to the cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing,  Do you think this is a positive or negative development?