Some people think that zoos are cruel and all zoos should be closed. However, some people think zoo can help protect animals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #zoos #zoo #animals

There is no doubt that zoological gardens play an important role to preserve wild

species

However

, while some believe that they pose a threat to

animals

and

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

should be shut down, I believe with those who argue that

zoos

are establishments that protect them.

To begin

with, wildlife sanctuaries are unethical places.

This

is because a plethora of wild mammals

are

Change the verb form

show examples

kept in cages all day long rather than spending time in their natural habitats.

This

means that

zoos

frequently offer little room for them to enjoy their freedom in total autonomy.

Besides

animals

parks sometimes jeopardize the welfare of many specimens. As they tend to live

Change preposition

show examples

their own,

this

environment is highly likely to put their well-being at stake,

thus

increasing their feeling of isolation and boredom.

Neverthless

Correct your spelling

Nevertheless

zoos

can benefit

animals

in many ways.

For instance

, animal activists protect endangered

species

from wildlife trafficking. Considering that poaching is an illegal trade, zoologists do their utmost to prevent

animals

from being attacked, injured and killed by

such

predators. Another significant advantage of

zoos

is that vets and scientists could make research on the spread of certain viruses that

animals

might carry. If

such

epidemy is tackled rapidly thanks to scientific analysis,

this

would

mitigated

Change the verb form

mitigate

show examples

the spread of hazardous diseases,

therefore

protecting a wide range of

species

. To conclude,

although

zoos

are considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

cruel places for

they

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

lack

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

empathy and care with regards to their residents, it is of

Remove the article

apply

show examples

critical importance to keep them open as it enables many

species

to feel protected and healthy.

Submitted by jenn.guillen2803 on Tue Dec 21 2021

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that zoos are cruel and all zoos should be closed. However, some people think zoo can help protect animals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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