With the pressures on today's young people to succeed academically, some people believe that non-academic subjects at school (eg: physical education and cookery) should be removed at the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#pressures #people #subjects #school #eg #education #cookery #syllabus #children

Nowadays, parents and

teacher

Fix the agreement mistake

teachers

show examples

put pressure on students to be excellent in academics and to be at the top of the class and find non-academic subjects like sports and arts less relevant part of child's education so they want

this

out of the institute curriculum. In my ,opinion both should be of equal values and they should

focus

this

part so they can have more career options. Sportsman and Art major develop an attitude towards their fields from childhood onwards so if these subjects are not part of school offering they may never know if they are interested in

this

area for there

further

. If someone wants to take a cooking or being a chef is their career from them academic will be of less importance and should

focus

on their cooking-related skills rather than an academic area. If only academic

focus

is given early in their life

then

our future generations may not be interested in creative career paths.

For example

, a friend of mine was a State winner in Basketball but his family

focus

Wrong verb form

focused

show examples

on him quitting it because they wanted him to

focus

this

boards exam, he could have been

Add an article

show examples

international player one day but due to peer ,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

pressure he had to shift his

focus

area.

On the other hand

, children should be given

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

exposure to every subject out there so they can explore all the options and can choose their main path out of it. With ,

this

they can

also

know what the world has to offer out there. They can learn basic skills and get their life going. If they want to go to high education like college or master

this

will help them a lot. It can

also

help people to go up the social cycle because with more education more options for jobs will be available to them. To conclude, the school should assign every hour a day to arts and sports so they can get time to relax and put all the effort into academics.

Submitted by surajgadhvi92 on Tue Dec 21 2021

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

338 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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With the pressures on today's young people to succeed academically, some people believe that non-academic subjects at school (eg: physical education and cookery) should be removed at the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

When designing a building, the most important factor is the intended use of the building rather than its outward appearance. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills, Do you agree or disagree?

The rate of unemployment in some countries is high. Because of this, there is no need to complete an education beyond a primary school level. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that it is a good thing for senior manager to have much higher salaries than other workers in a company. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football. While other people think that taking part in individual sports is better, like tennis or swimming. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.