Over the past fifty years, international sports events such as Olympic games and world cup competition have played an increasing important role in our society. However, many people think such events are an enormous waste of money, time and effort. Do you agree?

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Sport is one of the most important physical activities which has increased in its popularity over the past fifty years. Olympic games and other international competitions were held

subsequently

to emphasize

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

essential role in society.

However

, some people think that a significant amount of money, time, and effort

are

Change the verb form

show examples

wasted on

such

events

. In my opinion, I disagree with the idea and think that there are many advantages of organizing

sports

tournaments. There are many groups of people that can benefit from participating in

sports

events

To begin

with, the athlete is the most obvious example. If there is no competition, there will be no incentive for athletes to practice hard in order to win the title.

Also

, most people easily get inspired to exercise by watching the sport they enjoy.

As a result

, they may stop exercising, leading to a bad health condition, if there is no motivation for them.

sports

businesses

also

gain a huge profit from selling

sports

equipment and facilities. It is

also

this

profit that supports the expense of athletes and provides them with

sports

facilities without charges. Not only huge companies but

also

local businesses are in favour of taking part in the

events

In other words

, most of the merchandise inside the tournament stadium comes from the local store, giving them additional revenue.

In addition

, the

government

also

benefits from a stronger international connection, which results from a collaboration between each

government

to successfully organize huge

sports

events

However

, there is some drawback that needs to take into consideration while setting up the tournament.

First

, a significant amount of money may be required to reconstruct the building or athlete field/court in order to efficiently support spectators, especially a big event that gain global attention

such

as Olympics games.

Also

, the

government

needs to give lots of effort and time to make it achievable. In conclusion, I disagree with the statement that

sports

events

are an enormous waste.

In contrast

, it offers huge benefits to both individuals, businesses, and the

government

Submitted by onnicha.chols on Tue Dec 21 2021

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

339 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

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Introduction & conclusion present

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Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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