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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts show what UK graduate and post graduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.

The charts show what UK graduate and post graduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.
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The given bar charts illustrate information on graduated and post-graduate
students
Use synonyms
 in the UK after finishing university if they did not
work
Use synonyms
 full-time.
Overall
Linking Words
, a glance at the charts reveals that different variations are evident. It can be clearly observed that the
number
Use synonyms
 of post-graduate
students
Use synonyms
 who did part-time
work
Use synonyms
 was
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
far more than graduates. As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be seen in the first chart,
further
Linking Words
 study shows the most significant
number
Use synonyms
 (29665)
while
Linking Words
 only 3500
students
Use synonyms
 tend to do voluntary
work
Use synonyms
. Graduate
students
Use synonyms
 who did
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part-time job were 17735, and unemployed graduated
students
Use synonyms
 were 16235. In the
second
Linking Words
 chart, 2535 post-graduates did part-time
work
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 only 345 had a tendency to
work
Use synonyms
 voluntarily. Two thousand seven hundred forty-five
students
Use synonyms
 decided to continue their education, and 1625 post-graduates were unemployed. In summary, the total
number
Use synonyms
 of graduate
students
Use synonyms
 in 2008 was 30,000;
however
Linking Words
, the total
number
Use synonyms
 of post-graduates was 3,000.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, work, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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